Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Nine weeks and counting

pregnancy calendar

How long can I maintain the illusion of getting fat? Naked it is really obvious that my belly is getting bigger, but when I'm dressed, I just look like I'm getting fat.

I guess being well endowed with curves has its advantages. I started out this preg around 160. Other have started at 178, 162, and 138, and I ended up just shy of 200 each time.

Since that day I walked into Ma's and she said, "Please tell me you're not pregnant.", about six months ago, I don't think I'll be telling my family anytime soon.

Waiting as long as I can to tell the girls. At 6,8 and 10 they think a week is a long time. I get big quick, so I'm hoping for baggy sweaters for Christmas. Since it's winter, I get a little more bulky clothing advantage.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

The cult of Vaccines

Bring it on, go ahead with your no-sense. Why should I torture my healthy child to protect your sickly one. Why is it safe to inject newborns with mercury? Why do we keep having those scarey news articles about polio outbreaks among the unimmunized, which fail to mention that it is the vaccine strain of polio, and the wild one hasn't been seen in the US in decades?

Then let's discuss the skyrocketing rates of cancer and adhd, and diabetes, and autism, which are temporally related to the increase in 'mandatory' vaccines. Temporally related means at the same point in time, and doesn't prove a causal link.

I'm angry. The hoo hoo the people spewed over at neonatal doc upsets me. How can these very intelligent people be so misled? That new Gardisil vaccine is scarey. Just barely approved, and now heavily advertised. I doesn't prevent cancer, it provides some immunity against a virus which may be linked to cervical cancer. People are pushing to make it mandatory, and we don't really have any data to show it it even safe.

Immunizing your child puts mine at risk. My friends keep their children away from the recently immunized ones. Shedding the manmade virii, frankencreated for vaccinations hasn't even been studied. The recent rise in shingles seems to coincide with the varicella vaccine. Why vaccinate against chickenpox? Oh, because the immnocomprised ones soemetimes die from it, rarely a healthy child. Why are there so many immunocompromised ones, vaccinations. Kids need to get sick to train their immune systems.

Please go see for more details.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006


Someone at asked us to ask our timid friends if they have been harrassed. She wondered if it happened to timid people too.

Here's what I replied:

Harassed by whom?

I used to be a timid mom, harrasment made me who I am.

The sOB who said breaking my water 2.5 weeks before my due date wouldn't interfer with my natural birth plans. Same sOB (surgical OBstetrician) allowed 30 seconds for me to attemp breastfeeding with no help before declaring time's up and convincing the dad to dump 2.5 ounces of formula into my first.

The peds who answered try supplimenting to any concern.

The peds who never reported adverse vaccine reactions with my first.

The pediatrician who claimed that at a year my baby needed cow milk, that human milk and real food including organic greens wasn't good enough.

The nurses who keep asking what formula, and make faces when I say none. Repeatedly asking how much milk, when I am nursing.

The ex who coerced me into weaning because pregnant, or before an airplane ride.

The employer who took away part of my maternity leave after returning to work, and said you know better now, no midwife.

Dr. Amy Tutuer who runs a 'debate' and bans anyone who supports homebirth.

The boss who looked like a deer in the headlights everytime I mentioned nursing/pumping.

The online mommy groups who think it is out of line to nurse near a pool.

The church who wanted me to dump my milk and replace it with their 'free safer formula' since human milk is a 'biohazard'. (quotes mean false)

The priest who laughed and said, no breastfeeding, even in my car in the parking lot, the women would be cruel to me.

Sorry, I just reread your thread starter. I don't have any friends who are unlikely to complain. I choose carefully.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

I am a hunter

Feel free to comment in Etherspace

The Shh it's a secret was for real life. Feel free to chime in here, or elsewhere in etherspace. Even go tell toots that I found a doctor who does home births. I can't tell her, I'm still banned.

I met the Doctor yesterday. Wow, how'd she get that degree, and keep her morals and marbles. I'm thrilled. The booklet they handed me with the paperwork covered most of my concerns on page 8. I cheered when I read that page. She routinely does testing equivelent to my wishes, which means almost none. She assures me I am pregnant, with no testing. She said if I don't like the doppler, the only penalty is that I won't hear the heartbeat until 20 weeks, and it doesn't really matter anyways. She liked my vitamins and supplements, especially the yeast defense (TM).

Wow, contrast that to the other sOBs who diagnosed me with ammenoria (no period) until the blood work ($400 worth) came back to change the result. Wow, a doctor who believe women can give birth if they aren't interfered with 90% of the time, and 5% may need a little help, the other 5% may need more extreme measures. Contrast that with the 30% C rate in the US this year.

So excited to share the healing with you all. For all three previous babies I was in an adversarial position with my care provider. It wasn't until eight months into the third pregnancies when I woke up and went to an unlicensed midwife. I was forced to choose another provider this time by my employer, in order to get my maternity leave.

More soon, I'm hoping to blog lots about how the otherside is so much safer. Go tell toots, she can get stuffed. So looking forward to care without the dead baby drum, and the I know better than you horn. No GBS, no quad screen, no ultrasounds, no doppler, just sound advice about eating, and sharing any concerns. So nice to have someone who has confidence in me, not the machines that go bleep.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Shhh It's a Secret

In the previous post, I forgot to mention. I'm not sharing this possible baby with the world yet. Please don't tell, or talk to me about it. I've miscarried before, and it was hard doing the unannouncing.

Having unreasonable fears about facing another doctor. I've been told she's a midwife in doctor clothing. That's the best compliment I've ever heard. To face medical mistraining in order to be licensed in this draconian state which doesn't offer any way to license a laymidwife. She's also a lactation consultant, so that means she may be more supportive of not weaning Darling Son, just because I'm older and pregg'd. Many sOBs would pressure me to stop immediately, unaware of the stress it would cause me.

I had a dream, where I was waiting in a nice big airy well decorated space to meet my new doctor. My fear of heights overwhelmed me. I could see and hear what was going on with the other patients. I woke up before meeting her, but I don't think I stayed long enough to meet her, because of the way I could see down the stairs and out the window.

In real life, I'm considering whether I should write up a questionaire, a list of preferences, and some of my history in advance. I don't wnat to scare her, but maybe she's already on the same page. It's not like I have much of a choice. I need a doctor to save me from my disability plan overseer, and CPS. I can't go without care, because that is ...

Monday, November 27, 2006

No Name as of yet...

Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker

Here we go again. Darling Hubby was thrilled to hear the news.

You'd think with my thourough statistiacal background, and knowledge of the obstetric meat grinder, I wouldn't use the calendar for birth control. But what about God's will? Maybe he feels the I should give birth a fourth time. Maybe he feels I should make another angel. He never gives us more than we can handle. Sure why not have another baby at the age of 41?

Too bad I can't post this to the debacle, and give them the blow by blow of my version of a pregnancy and birth. Toots only allows her side into the debate.

Fortunately, I have found a doctor who does homebirths. Wow, there is a God, and she's looking after me.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Advice for a Mom who was told to wean to treat thrush.

(this is a reply I posted to a thread at mothering.commune for a mom who was told to wean her 1.5 year old baby to treat thrush. There was other standard advice already posted.)

The ex ped told me at eight months to just use formula. I had mentioned that the nystatin was making it hard to pump. (Nystatin is a common, horrible antifungal prescribed for thrush, and is greasy.) I wanted another type of treatment, not just the same old supplement line of crap.

I called back the Lactation Consultant in the practice, and she set me up with a pharmacy which had gentian violet. I stains the baby blue, but is much better than thrush.

And pumping was easy without the greasy parts. I was working full time, and not suplementing, so decreasing my output was a concern.

Years laters, for another baby, I went straight to LLL. That time, it may not have been thrush, they thought it was dermititis, a skin allergy. Keeping the shampoo, and other soaps away from the area, and changing my laundry to soap free made a permanant cure.

Other tips, I love the Yeast Defense pills, hot peppers and probiotics all in one pill. The midwife also recomended breaking a probiotic capsule open, and sprinkling the power on the affected area.

You're not alone in getting horrible advice which ends with wean. I avoid doctors for all but stiches. LLL and kellymom combined with mothering.commune solves 99% of the issues that the peds used to mislead me about. Any doubts and I call my unlicensed midwife for the real answers. What a shame that the most reliable care is not offered a license in Michigan.

Did anyone mention water and rest to boost your body's natural defenses? The no sugar really helps, also flour and refined grains can fuel the yeast. Basically the white foods promote it, and whole foods prevent it.

For lots more about the many things that yeast causes, and doctors treat with surgery, read The Yeast Connection. That book claims that most of our mysterious illnesses which doctors fail to control are actually caused by yeasy overgrowth.

Hope you feel better. Great thinking Mama, come here whenever anyone says wean. The breastfeeding isn't the probelm, its the answer.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Epi vs Hot Tub

(Toots at the debacle is debating the effectiveness of water immersion for pain relief in birth.)

Natural birth meant less pain overall.

The epi for my first birth stopped labor. It tooks hours for me to convince them to turn it off, so I could get going again. 25 hours of hell. I hurt worse than a traffic accident after, and my mothering ability was compromised due to loss of confidence in my natural ability.

For the next two, I went natural. I was up and around right away, empowered to care for my new baby. Overall the pain was much less. The recovery was faster.

The second was in the inhospitalbe, and since I was forced onto my back, I tore.

The third was in the water. Only a tiny tear, which didn't need repair. For the third, I didn't even get any pain meds for recovery. It forced me to rest, as my body required.

Toots, you say water birth is dangerous, and then say we should study its effectiveness. I'm confused.

Birth should empower a mom, not cause trauma due to calloused care.


(the ban seems to have expired.)

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Ranting about Banning

( a reply I posted in my moomy group to questions about why I got banned. )

No explanation, no reply to my email asking for it. I posted my goodbye from another computer, and she deleted the goodbye, and banned that computer too.

Since some of my posts are still there, I put a goodbye on my blog.

You've seen my style, I really try to be respectful here. There I was getting a little more snarky. Her Name is Dr. Amy Tutuer, MD, but I started calling her toots. Toots the I know better than you horn, and bangs the dead baby drum. Just a little humour, no cursing. She maintains, with no evidence to prove it, that homebirth makes more dead babies, but women choose it for 'the experience'. There's even a British Doctor who points to overwhelming evidence in England on the safety of homebirth. They can have a homebirth even on public assistance. 80% of women only see midwives. There is seemless transfer of care with no acrimony like transfers are treated here.

As is typical, she was spouting her personal feelings, and claiming that science, studies and research supported her. We have been having fun poking huge holes in every argument.

Today's complaint is "why do DEMs charge so much" DEM is direct entry midwife, like Brigett who attended the birth of my son Nicholas. She thinks $2500 is too much for the entire cost of prenatal, labor, and post natal services, including testing. In my mind it's not enough to keep them in business. Most DEMs barely scrape by, and some get donations from grateful previous clients.

So tempted to send the hordes of angry internet women from after her. They have a forum which supported me through the trials at Northridge when they asked me to refill my bottle with 'free safer formula'.

Does everyone know the differences between DEM, CPM, CNM and sOBs (surgical OBstetricians)? Maybe she was tired of my sOB acronym, but I did spell it out. CNM and OBs view pregnancy as a disease, and rescue the fetus. DEMs and CPMs view birth as normal, and only send you to OBs when things out of the range of normal happen. (beware of Sue's sweeping generalization, there are many good and bad exceptions to my general rule.)

I wouldn't mind so much if she hadn't put it at the top of the page that both sides are welcome. She's banned a few others that I know of. She also made a big deal that she'd stop selectively censoring, and it seems to be happening again. She should have at least left my goodbye up. People will be wondering if I'm okay, I was a regular there, and people were noticing my point of view.

Thanks for listening. Still trying to work through my feelings on this. It makes me angry to see her saying that she won't do any backup care for midwives because they are all unprofessional, and dangerous. That's the trouble with homebirth around here, hostile hospital will start over on arrival, instead of picking up from the midwives direction. many midwives become doulas as they pass through the hospital doors. In Michigan we have no licensing for DEMs, they are not illegal like some states, but their not protected by a license like in others. A woman should be able to choose anything from an elective C to an unassisted homebirth, without worrying about CPS (child protective services) punishing you for child abuse, or a hospital letting the baby die while lecturing you on the evils of birthing, instead of providing the care the midwife decided you needed there.

Oh, and to answer your questions T, I can view the site, but not post. No, she doesn't moderate, only deletes parts that don't support her point of view, after posting. She gave me no warning that I was out of line. I think she was just tired of being called toots, it probably happens to her in real life. (her last name is Tutuer -> toots)

Thanks for listening, I feel better now.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

I got banned

After many posts, and much time invested in a debate I was banned
from the homebirth debate with no

I did not curse or threaten. I did give her a nickname toots like
toots the I know better than you horn. I did mention possibly
deleting some of myposts.

What is the custom for this in etherspace? Should she have sent me
a message that she deleted some comments, and why? Should I get an
explanation for being banned?

The page says it's a forum for debate with both pros and cons
welcome. She has banned at least one other, who left a note on my
blog to say so. She is vitriolic in her hatred of homebirthers and
midwives. I thought we were working through her issues, and she
might recover. It was entertaining to keep putting bits of my story
out there, hoping she could see the other side.

I know its her blog, and she can do whatever she wants, but I'd like
to know what was appropriate. I posted as Sue or Sue - an engineer

Does anyone want to go there and mention Sue got banned with no
reason? I'm not really looking to attack her by sending hordes of
angry women to her site, I'd just like someone to say goodby for
me. I got to know a few of the regulars, and they might miss me.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Someone else understands

(This is someone else's comment posted to the debacle, posted with her permission.)

From delightfulmomma:

...It's hard to find ideas that are wackier than Dr. Odent's...

Let me think of some:

Women should lie down when giving birth.

Women should have fingers placed in her vagina at regular intervals to "check" her performance.

Women should have needles placed into their spines and anaesthetic injected (that risks death and paralysis).

If labor stops or slows down to give a woman a rest, even if the baby is doing fine, we shall inject a synthetic drug (made from pig product) into the woman to "start her up again".

We shall make a biological physiological process as unatural as possible so that as many as 1:3 or 4 women need major abdominal surgery to relieve them of their offspring.

We shall sever the umbilical cord and its vital component of blood (up to 200mls) as soon as the baby is born.

We shall break the waters of the amniotic sack that protects the baby at all labors to speed labor up despite their still being no reliable scientific evidence that says that this practice does in fact speed things up!

Obstetrics:crazy crazy people doing crazy things every day!
Obstetrics: conning women, performing unecessary surgery and misleading the public every day!
Obstetrics: if you want to make money, not have to be particularily bright in medical terms and only have to perform a couple of easy peasy surgical techniques in your career, this is the medical path for you! Obstetrics: anyone can do it!Join now for your easy course on :
1. How to perform a caesarean.
2.How to sew up a caesarean.
This 2 day course will show you how to do this now with an even easier one layer technique. Medics...Don`t mess with complicated heart surgery or play with intricate opthalmology, take the easy option with far more money to make! Course sponsored by pitocin.

Happy note

(a reply to the mommy group, someone wanted a happy story for the day.)

The weather was icky, so we didn't go to Dairy Dan's for the clown making balloon animals. Instead I convinced them it would be more fun to make a bunch of our own. Waiting in line for one, takes way longer than making a dozen puppies.

So I broke out the pump, and a handful of balloons. Blew a few up and wandered away. Well, she said they were out of ballons, so I went to help. Thinking I'd be blowing up more. Nope, they figured out how to tie them, and needed more empties. Neat, my finger went numb the day before from tying all of them.

They had a blast. Sophia made puppies, and tried to copy the seahorse from the clowns at the Civic Center Library (that was Tuesday). Veronica made a parachute. I made swords. So cute seeing the balloons tied all around her. Sophia liked it and made one too.

I mentioned how nice it was that Sophia liked it so much, she made one too. Happy balloon sounds then were sent to the basement, so I could let Nicky out of his highchair. No ballooons for babies, choking hazard.

They played for another happy hour in the basement with them, while Nicky caused as much mayhem as he could. He can now get loose from the high chair, open the kitchen gate, turn the TV, VCR and Sattelite on and off, and reset the computer. Fun ;)

I didn't get a chance to finish my book. The Wizard of London, Mercedes Lackey. I didn't pick up my crochet either. We're making an afgan of granny squares. I have a little notebook where they design squares, so I can make them later. They choose a pattern in the book, and copy to the notebook, picking from the colors we have. We've got quite a pile of squares in the corner, and keep laying them out, or throwing them like frisbees.

Homebirthers deserve good care at hospitals.

(another reply to the homebirth debacle.)

Dr Amy, still looking for a reply about backup OBs. Do you accpet homebirthers? Will you provide backup care?

It might have been nice to be able to keep my sOB, when I fled to a lay midwife in my eighth month of pregnancy. After taking the hospital tour, I was horrified by the attitudes and facilities.

They only had a level one neonatal intensive care unit, which means not even enough to stabilize. Immediate transport by helicopter to another facility, without mom or dad. Mom wouldn't be released for at least twenty four hours to follow, and dad couldn't fly with the baby.

They made a big deal that you could drink water during labor, if your doc approves.

They did not have a tub, and said the shower would do the same.

By choosing to birth at the midwife's office, in her tub. I was safer. Her office was 7 minutes from deciding to go, to getting a C section at a facility with a level 4 neonatal intensive care unit. They would prep the room, with a phone call from her, and be ready on arrival.

How does your hospital treat a call from a midwife having trouble? Or do they not even call your facility?

Homebirth is much safer with good relations at a hospital. For the 5% who choose to transfer, they should recieve immediate good care, not a stern lecture on the evils of homebirth.

I've read stories where the hospital is so hostile, they don't act on the midwife's concerns, and start over, with intake questions and tests, letting the baby die.

I was a believer

(posted as a reply to neonataldoc HIb)

I was a believer. I updated my shots before trying to concieve.

After a year of her getting very sick after every shot, and seeing two of her immunizations recalled, I woke up and started reading. One of her vaccines was recalled for overdosing newborn babies with mercury. That was the published reason. The other for bowel obstructions.

It was hard to watch my child suffer from the vaccinations. The doctors didn't report even one occurance to the VARS database. The doc made the call that it was unrelated, and didn't follow the rules. Vaccine incidents are 95% underreported.

The screaming, the rainbow poops, and the worry was only there for the 7-10 days after each shot.

How 'bout the way that SIDS peaks in two perfect bell curves centered around two and four months age. Same as immunization time.

The only polio seen in the US for more than a decade, is the vaccine strain, not the wild one. Most polio cases in the US recently were caused by the oral vaccine. The caregivers were catching it from the diapers.

And what about the nasty preservatives.

I will not vaccinate my son. It was hard enough watching my daughter suffer.

And before you get on your high horse, vaccines are contraindicated if siblings had bad reactions. It says so right on the manufacturers pamphlet. So even the medicos would agree not to vaccinate another.

I loved the line in the varicella vaccine pamphlet. "There is no evidence of sutained immunity in the absence of wild booosting." So if we vaccinate the kids, they may get chickepox as adults.

Monday, July 31, 2006

Breast feed or Else. ..... (N)

(reply to a post on my mainstream mommy group. waiting for permission before posting the story I replied to. Started with comments about a New york Times article entitled Breast feed or Else.)

Donning my flame proof undies,

Please understand, we aren't critisizing you. We are critisizing
the poor treatment you recieved. When I read your story, I see
medicos taking your choices away. Phrases like had to, instead of
decided to. Please understand, we are trying to help prevent other
moms from recieving calloused care.

Armed with natural birth ideals, I was lied to by doctors, and
almost had a C with my first, after being told breaking my water to
start labor would not interfer with my natural birth plans. After
arguing for hours for them to turn down the meds, I finally
was 'allowed' to push even though they made it clear they would
rather be doing a C.

A woman should be able to choose anything fromm elective, scheduled
C to unassisted home birth, and be able to go to a hospital a be
treated well no matter her choice.

I just blogged about this today. We don't say your choice is wrong,
we say our choices weren't supported. How many lay midwives turn
into doulas as they pass through hospital doors?

What happens when an unassisted home birther decides to get help,
because she feels she needs it? How 'bout calling CPS? It has

How do you feel about me nursing my son? In public? At twenty two
months? Not often, but it happens. Did you just judge me, or do
you think I was judging you? No, we hope for support. I try to
view posts in the context of helpful, not hurtful.


(PS N, can I post your reply below on my blog?, It really
illustrates some of the points we've been discussing elsewhere. I
would remove your identifying bits, since it is a public blog, I
would never post from here to there without permission. )

Safe equals Legal

(another reply to the debacle.)

Amy, "It is illuminating that the truth about homebirth could be seen as a vendetta."

Yes it is, illuminating, to see midwives prosecuted by doctors. We only needed homebirth advocacy after the medicos started their midwife hunting.

Homebirth should be legallized, and supported. How would you fee if even one midwife hesitated to bring mom in for additional care, because of a hostel hospital staff. How many midiwfes turn into doulas as they pass through the hosptital doors.

I support choice, from elective C to unassisted home birth. It should be legal and supported, so when more care is required, there is no fear of getting it.

Many medicos are jaded against homebirth, because they have only seen the ones desparate enough to wade into the medical territory. With bad relations, sometimes, too late.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

What? A 'doctor' said no benefits for Mom in Breastfeeding

(Yet another comment on the homebirth debacle site.)

She tooted, "I strongly recommend breastfeeding to everyone, but that's because of the known benefits for the baby, not because of health benefits for the mother, which appear to restricted to a very small group."

It's lipservice like this that prevents breastfeeding from being seen as beneficial and normal.

The benefits to mom are too numerous to mention, but here's a few.

Oxytocin is released during let down, a feel good hormone.

Formula can cause post partum depression. Mom's body thinks the baby died if it doesn't nurse.

500 or so extra calories a day.

Never needing to take more than a diaper and some wipes when I go out. Imagine, no diaper bag full of crap to haul. I throw a diaper in my purse, and I'm off. I keep wipes in the truck. I bring a bottle of water for me to drink.

I needed to buy nothing for nursing, no hooter hider, no creams, no bottles, no just in case/sabotage formula, no shields.

I chose to buy a boppy, a stool and a pump. But those are optional.

Mom's pocketbook doesn't need to buy formula.

No running out of formula and needing to go buy some. No getting up to get a bottle while baby screams "why is this taking so long, just whip it out." for about five minutes.

Other fun bits, going to nurse ins, and nurse outs can be fun. LLL is entertainment, and much better help than any medico has provided.

A couple ten minute breaks a day to read my book while I was still pumping.

Oh, and did you miss the recent news, Tutuer, breastfeeding cuts your breast cancer risk in half, being breastfed cuts your risk in half again. You were right on one point, breastfeeding the American way for a couple of weeks doesn't help much. I seem to remember at least two years was needed over the lifetime. I'm in my sixth year of nursing, non-consequetive. Two children are formula free, the other has tummy trouble, allergies, and excema.

At least admit it to yourself Tutuer, you are actively sabotaging those poor women. We must present nursing as normal. New moms don't have time for extras. It's foolish to think formula is easier, or frees up mom. You will spent time with a fussy baby, which could have been pleasantly nursing with your feet up.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Safer birthing in the middle of a freeway.

(This was someone else's reply to my comment (previous post in myblog) posted to the homebirth debacle site. I asked permission to post it here, because I am so pleased that someone got it.)

From anon:

Gosh Sue, lucky you were in hospital eh?

Dr Amy should spend less time spouting her antipathy and more time listening to stories like yours.Maybe if the docs got it right, women would not be wanting to birth at home. Faced with a doctor who says homebirths are dangerous and hopsital safer after an experience such as yours, I wouldnt be suprised if you decided that birthing in the middle of a freeway was more preferable.

V's birth story

( posted as a reply on the homebirth debacle site - my point is that measuring natural birth outcomes can't happen in a hospital, they aren't set up for a natural birth, only medical.)

Whoops, I put the wrong name on the principle. Must not have been Heisenburg. I am sure my instrumentation (how meters work) class hammered it. You cannot measure without disturbing. Can anyone remember the name?

I'd like to hear more about sailing, that was very refreshing.

I still maintain there is no evidence that homebirths are significantly more dangerous. All data presented so far was either flawed or indeterminate. Where indeterminate was translated to unsafe.

The Quantum Physics bit can be greatly applied to homebirth. If I feel I have the power within me to birth, I am likely to do so. If I am looking to the allmighty medico to rescue my baby from my uterus, I am likely to receive. (For reference watch the recent Movie, What the bleep do I know)

For my first I fell for the "break your water or go home" ultimatum. He said it would not not effect my natural birth plans, and induced labor that way. I did managed to birth vaginally, but much trauma, including a 300 pound nurse pushing on my belly, even as I told her to stop.

For my second, I was given the same ultimatum. After being told I was at 6cm, they said, not fast enough, break your water or go home. I chose to leave, and Viola, suddenly I was declared 4cm. I transitioned at home after a pizza and a good night's rest. I would have pushed that baby out unattended, if the Ex hadn't piled me into the car. 15 minutes from front door to baby, and I had to fight every minute.

My natural Birth in the hospital.

Walk in front door, in bathrobe, sweating, pushy. They tried to put me in a wheelchair, I refused saying that the baby's head was to far down to sit, and insisted on walking.

After pushing elevator button, nurse wants to do a vaginal exam in the elavator. I refused.

The nurse would not break down the bed, and refused to allow me into a position to push, until a doctor arrived from ER. (I had called maternity, and said I was on the way. I made it clear I was pushy.)

ER doc arrives, and orders Lactated wringers. I yell, I'm not a traffic accident, and argue, until they are distracted. The bleeping fetal monitor has moved, the rates are now the same, mine and the baby's. They yell the baby's heartrate dropped and force oxygen onto me. I resist and tell them I am hyperventilating, and that the heart rates are the same.

I push the oxygen aside, and yell its burning. The assistant doula says, from her corner behind the equipment, "that is good, it should you're almost there." I accepted her advice to push through it, it was a good thing, a sign we were progressing. And out came V, she literally pushed off my rib cage and came out with a splash. Suprised ER doc catches, barely, and I start telling him not to clamp the cord. Fortunately he listened to me, for a little while. The sOb I had, made it clear he would be clamping right away. At least the ER doc did wait a little.

After clamp and cut, the doc starting pulling on my cord. I repeatedly told him to stop, it may cause hemmorage. When I pushed out the placenta, he wasn't paying close atttention, to me or the bowl of fluid full on the floor. Yep, I hit a bowl full of fluids and it splashed all over the doc, and covered under the bed too. (by accident.) Quite a mess.

Minutes later I was out of bed, and the nurse was requesting a bath so she could handle the baby without gloves. I said I preffered that she wear gloves.

My mom washed up the baby while I had a quick shower. (My Mom, and doula were stuck in the hall for the birth. They were denied entrance, even though permitted on my birthplan.)

Right after my support staff left, so I could rest. Another nurse came in and said they needed the room, I needed to pack and move down the hall. I refused to pack, and pleaded for her to do it, pointing out that if she had asked minutes sooner, my support staff would have been happy to help me.

She said they were full, and since I was now considered super healthy low risk, they were putting me in the private super clean room since I wouldn't contaminate it like (techno) deliveries might. She may have said something like more difficult instead of techno. The room was usually keep empty for those with compromised immune systems who needed an almost germ free isolation.

I wanted to go home right away, but no one would take me home until I ws released. 22 hours later I left, with a huge rash covering my buttocks and thighs caused by an allergic reaction to their sheets.

How's that for an unintendeded complication. It was real fun trying to heal that rash while nursing a newborn.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Glove safety

( reply to Tuteur's Debacle - concerning the drop in maternal mortallity. )

The drop in maternal mortallity is usually atributed to the doctors finally getting a clue and washing their hands before inserting them into the women. Midwives had been doing that all along, or better yet not inserting/disturbing.

Cervical checks only on maternal request. Could you handle it? There is no reason to be nucking about in there. Birthing from Within, we all have the power, not the (allmighty) doctors.

I can remember forcing the quack to change his gloves before insertion. He argued and said he just put new gloves on. I pointed out he had handled the pen, and the fetal monitor since putting on the gloves. The gloves were apparently there for his safety, not mine.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

The Formula Conspiracy

(this is a comment I left at in reply to his question why a medicaid HMO repeatedly lies and says that hospital grade breastpumps aren't covered.)

Thanks, NeoHero for covering a topic close to my heart. I was a lactivist, before it had that name.

Have you thought about the formula industry doing some active sabotage in this case? I always try to see where a formula rep may have been there first.

A formula rep visited my ex-chucrh and gave them 'free safer formula' to provide to mothers who brought breastmilk to the church nursery. I was asked to dump my "bottle of hazardous bodily fluid and refill it with free safer formula". Very effective, a shamed based message followed by free poison, from a source of spiritual guidance.

Since formula is made by Ross, I might guess that they strong armed somewhere. Look for the conspiracy.

Or it could be as simple as those reps think formula is good enough, and breastfeeding is an extra that medcaid recipients do not deserve. Most people view BFing as an extra, not a normal.

Breast is Normal. If you know of any Nurse Ins or Nurse Out I can post them to my yahoo group, nurseoutmichigan. I've helped promote a couple local nurse ins already. Did you see me on the six o'clock news for the Victoria Secret Nationwide Nurse In.

How 'bout those weight charts? In 1998 I had to fight to not supplement. The fleas were concerned because she was at 20% and settling gently. They didn't even believe me when I said their charts were for formula fed babies, and someone has to be at 20% anyways. There were formula ads on the chart itself.

Just picked a new flea, in 2005 a Doctor had to confirm online that I had a real CDC weight chart for breastfed babies, and didn't just make it up. He was about to give me a feed him more lecture, but on my chart, my baby was at 50%.

Oh, and I just love the recent ER visit where the doctor stitching my son was concerned he might not be getting enough calcium because he was still breastfeeding at 18 months. I told her my (new)pediatrician was not concerned.

I have been barraged with wean him, and what they really mean is cow milk in a bottle. My baby weaned himself from the bottle at 11 months, but continues to nurse. He eats real food, and drinks water anytime he likes, we keep it available.

I know, long comment, back to your topic. I showed a few examples of why breast is considered extra, and not needed, to illustrate how the denial of decent pumps is part of the bigger formula conspiracy.

Boycott Nestle, they are killing babies in third world contries by giving free formula in the hospital, so moms don't start nursing. Then after the two huge free cans run out, moms can't afford enough powder, and the water isn't safe. Babies die of disintery.

Friday, July 14, 2006

A doctor actually said pitocin is an exact copy of oxytocin.

(This is a reply I posted to the Homebirth debacle board.)

Amy spouted, "Third, synthetic oxytocin (pitocin) is an exact copy of natural oxytocin."

Do you actually believe this? I guess that explains why quacks feel justified hitting most moms with the pitocin stick. The last maternity triage area I was in, gave every mom pitocin, even the ones who just came in and were laboring normally.

Pitocin increases pain in labor. Oxytocin is regulated my mom/baby. How can you keep mucking about with things we don't really understand?

Yes, I do believe that interfering with a natural labor lowers the mothers quality of life. Post Traumatic Stress disorder induced by callousness. The baby mill can beat the life out of you.

The baby friendly hospital guidelines state that immediate bonding is very important. Are you saying it isn't?

You keep going from relative values to absolutes, taking offense where none was intended. Dr. Odent stated that things were dimished, not gone. Your jumps to offensive conclusions reveal a deep seated issue. Please go get help. I'll pray for you.

Not feeling superior, feeling protective. Now that I have done it both ways, I would like to spare others the pain of hospital birth.

Formula feeding moms have similar issues. Just because I want to be able to do it my way, doesn't mean that you have to be the same. Protecting my rights doesn't invalidate your choices. Taking offense because he states facts trying to protect women, is like bottle moms gettting mad at me when I'm upset because someone told me I should refill my bottle of expressed breast milk with free safer formula, so I wouldn't endanger other babies in their care.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Homebirth Debate?

Hi All you wonderful followers from the home birth debate site. Or is it neonatal doc? I seem to be getting some traffic here and will try to post more often. Thanks.

Has Dr Amy been here yet? My life is enough to make her blood boil. I believed in the medical mill before my first baby. I even updated my immunizations before trying to concieve. Now I will not immunize, and feel safer birthing alone, than with a herd of medicos shouting at me.

I blows my mind how some people feel that because a certain choice is better for them, it should be good for me too. From unassisted home birth to elective C section, it should be the woman's choice. Who are we to say what she should do? Why does Dr. Amy spend so much energy with her bombasts. I can't really call it a debate, she just misdirects, she hasn't done one valid refution yet.

British Doc has been a shining beacon of light from England. He said that there, the lower income moms are more likely to birth at home. It's not just for the well educated white women. He shows how normal and accepted homebirth is there. Homebirth paid for by public assistance? Did I really hear him say that? Sounds too good to be true.

Thanks to all my new visitors. Seems like my comments aren't just sent off into etherspace never to be seen again. I may not be able to help Dr. Amy, but at least now I don't feel so alone.

Take back your rights. Our medical choices are being governed by others' religious beliefs.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Judge Empath

You scored as Judge. You are a Judge Empath, one who is a "truthsayer". You can tell truth from lies, good from evil. You do not tolerate wrong doing. You are a defender of the good and the innocent. You are kind and merciful but do not play foolish games. (from "The Book of Storms" by Jad Alexander)









Fallen Angel








What Kind of Empath Are You?
created with

Monday, June 19, 2006

Someone in my mommy group seems to be headed for induction.

[I actually posted this to a mainstream mommy group. Feeling bold today, but I can't bear to see it happen again.]

(Warning, I can't keep quiet about this. This post mentions some scary things, and is highly opinionated.)

How 'bout informed consent? Has anyone mentioned that due dates, fundal heights, and baby weight estimates by U/S can easily be off as much as 20%. Have they mentioned the risks for induction? I read a lot of pregnant infertile blogs. They keep inducing these poor women who tried so hard to conceive, and then putting the premature baby into intensive care.

I birthed three babies, 7.5, 8.5, and 9.5 pounds. The 9.5 pounder was the easiest by far. I could hardly walk, and hurt worse than a traffic accident for the 7.5 pounder. For the 9.5 pounder I was up and around within minutes. Why? Because I waited for the 9.5 pounder to choose his exit time, and the 7.5 pounder was induced, early. The 7.5 pounder was in the hosptial, on my back. The 9.5 pounder was birthed underwater without a hospital, or doctors, at a time of his choosing.

The induction rate around here is like 95% for hospital births. Pitocin is standard around here, and AROM (artificial rupture of membranes - break your water). You can refuse any treatment. Please don't let them bully you with their policies. Inducing five weeks early can carry lots of risk.

I'm sure the medicos feel they are doing the best thing for you. I just don't feel they have told you the whole truth. Please don't let a doctors fear of large babies lead you to a C section. I read about 11 to 13 pounders who are birthed unassisted. (To me unassisted means at home, alone with no midwife.)

My message here is to trust your body. Where you here to see Kelli's story as it unfolded? After she went in for induction, we held our breath for 6 days before she got online and said she and baby Caanan were okay.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Wait, we're not ready for you to push yet...

For my second, I walked in ready to push, and had been doing little pushses in the car on the way. I told that bleeping nurse she could catch it, but she wouldn't break down the bed until the ER doctor ran up. I should have stood up, and let her catch it on the floor.

How to have a natural birth in a hospital, 15 minutes from front door to baby born. I argued with them every moment. Let my doula and mom in the room, sorry no room. Get that oxygen off me, baby's heartrate dropped, yeh, to exactly my heart rate, I told them I was hyperventilating to get that mask off me. He ordered lactated wringers, and I said it's a baby not a traffic accident. I didn't even let them get a bleeping IV into me.

The night before they gave me that same crappy ultimatum I fell for with my first: let us break your water or you have to leave. This time I said, I'm leaving, and suddenly I was back to 4 cm, when previously they had said 6cm. I went home and ordered a pizza. I would have had the baby at home unassisted, I hated the hospital so much. The ex practically dragged me to the car.

Friday, June 02, 2006

I need a shill, any volunteers?

I need a shill, any volunteers?

When my third was nine months old, the church nursery suggested I
bring a bottle for the next visit. When I brought one of my
precious last bottles of Expressed Breastmilk to the next visit the
nursery worker asked what was in it. I proudly replied, and was

She wrinkled her nose, and told me that it was a hazardous bodily
fluid and offered me free safer formula to refil it. I fled in
tears clinging to my baby. In the main lobby crying on the phone to
my hubby, people were concerned until they found out why.

I wrote a letter, I talked to the director, others at
were more angry. The church maintains that I shouldn't expect
volunteers to take extra risk by handling my fluids. Yes, they
change diapers every service, but only females are allowed to diaper.

Now, ten months later, I still haven't attended another service. I
just wrote a little note to a pastor, saying that I haven't been
back, and it has shaken my faith. He sent back a corperate looking
form letter reffering me back to the director who doesn't feel that
a shame based message from your church followed by free formula is a

This bugs me. The website is even more pro formula now.

I want to know that the offers for free formula just for the
excusively breastfed infants have stopped. I want to know that a
new mom won't be shamed.

My baby is too big to take to the nursery. It's a wonderful place
other than that 'science' that formula rep must have sold them.
Does anyone here attend? Would anyone be willing to go and see what
happens if you bring a bottle of the best milk for humans?

I would like to be sure it is still a problem before starting in on
them again. Oh, and yes, they have a nursing closet, and pagers,
and encourage you to direct feed anywhere you like. Separate, but
not equal. Once again I've been told to do it like bottle moms.


My Father In Law died, and I've just stayed with hubby for comfort. Gary was a Korean war veteran, and he passed on Memorial Day with his son holding his head, and surrounded by family.

He went in for a routine chest Xray, in Jan 2006, and the diagnosis killed him quickly. After hearing the news that the cancer was in his liver, lungs and kidneys he only hung on a short while. His daughters were not ready to let him leave.

I feel callous and selfish.

His death was a victory. He got to die at home. Those that know me, know that I feel strongly that birth and death should be peaceful, and at home. I feared that they would continue to torture him with medical treatments, fortunatley they allowed him to die.

My employer gave me three days off, and it's been like a honeymoon with my hubby. We've only been married a couple of years, and I haven't really heard much about his dad. He talked so much he lost his voice. I mostly just said I don't have any words, and let him go on. We've come through this a whole lot stronger as a couple.

Wierd though, not having any control. Death on Monday, Funeral on Sunday? With no visitation? When the Hub came home Monday, I thought we'd be spending the week out with his famliy, not hiding at home watching old black and white movies. ( The Scapegoat, The Perfect Gentleman, it was a Frank Morgan sort of day (he was the wizard of oz))

I hate cut flowers. Once again, I am told that someone died, and we're all going in together on flowers. So I just pay, seems like less of an honor that being able to just cut something nice from my yard. I know Pop would like something handpicked better, he had quite a garden. Funeral flowers seem like such a scam. They don't last, and Pop doesn't need them now.

This is the second time I have lost a father in law. When the X's dad died, he spent days raging. Mad at God for taking his dad, who he had spent more than a decade not talking too. Sure that he was just gone, not gone somewhere. My current spouse is so different. He spent days talking about his dad, and grateful that he was there to hold him as he passed. Gratitude vs Anger, gratitude seems much easier.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006


the ideas to help prevent nature deficit disorder, were to get out into nature.

Joined Greenfield Village for another yearly membership, with the ride passes. The kids love wandering around another time.

Had the girls jelp in the garden. Digging in the dirt, messy, but good for them. They like picking out weeds, and planting. Our peas, onions, and radishes are up. We got more seeds (free) at the village.

Friday, March 24, 2006

The Last Child in the Woods - First Book in Online Bookclub

Okay here is the page, just leave comments, whatever you like.

Here's Hathor's link to the book

I've ordered mine already. It is also in paperback.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Sue's Online Book Club

This is the place. Let's give it a whirl in eitherspace.

Format - Pick a book, Read it, go to page here about that book, and post comments. That way we can read and post, and reply like a forum, but with no costs.

Let's start now. Please post a few of the books you would like to hear discussed.

A Stranger in A Strange Land - Robert Heinlein

The Cat Who could read Backwards - Lillian Jackson Bruan

Harry Potter

And my hope for first pick

Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer

Okeedokey - let's post a few choices here, and then we'll pick one with a poll. My goal is to pick one by the weekend.


Wednesday, March 08, 2006

My answer

God loves us all, always. God provides learning opportunities as
needed for our growth. We may not always understand the nature of
these learning opportunities, and sometimes see them as pain, and
wonder why God would let such things happen.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Thanks Will

Wow, been a long time since I discovered blogs. I want to thank Wil Wheaton for being the first blog I glommed onto.

Today from Wil it was trolls who go to big blogs to try to get more traffic. Worth a try.

re: online pregnancy results - Who's the daddy?

Congratulations, Susan! You're "with child". Our remote testing
system has detected that you're pregnant. The Miracle Of Life has
begun! To see whether your baby is a boy or a girl, click the "View
My Baby" button below.

It's A Boy!

Susan, you're going to be the proud parent of a baby boy, and just
look- isn't he just so damn cute! Based on our remote test results,
your beautiful baby boy will weigh about 16 lbs, 14 oz and have
blonde hair and green eyes. Truly a Wonder To Behold!

Would you like to know who the lucky father is? Our Genetic
Validator module has processed that data and determined who the
father must be. Click the "Who's The Daddy?" button to find out.

Dick Cheney

This must have occurred while you were in a coma or otherwise
unconscious, like at a frat party. We can't think of any other
likely way.


(I'm a day late, and just had an Xray of the pelvic region 3 days
after predicted ovulation. Vinny said can't be, we haven't done it
this month. Can't wait 'till he finds out I must have been on the
hunting trip with the VP)

Thursday, March 02, 2006


I gave up lent years ago. If it's something I decide I shouldn't do, I try to change the behaviour right away.

I gave up religion recently. Churches have made it clear that they prefer formula, and I no longer feel welcome.

Now I have fallen in with the Quantum Physics group. Is that a religion? What the Bleep Do I Know - a recently released to DVD movie - has really helped replace the guilt and shame which passed for the religions I participated in, with a belief that prayers and thoughts really do shape my world, directly.

People have told me that I will go to h... because although I believe in Jesus, I don't feel that people who choose other names for their god(s) automatically go to h...

How many bad things have been done in the name of Christianity?

What is the most challenging area of parenting for you?

Which challenge? Working while hubby stays home. Extended
breastfeeding in the face of relatives? A hubby who acts like a
child? an Ex who is spiteful, controlling, and not AP at all.

Or is it the constant fight against the medical sickness industry?

Okay, I'll pick that one.

As a mom, I am caregiver. I decide any treatments for my children.
Many doctors feel that they have a standard of care, and as a good
mom I should sheepishly follow their directions.

The ped I just fired advised against any co-sleeping, even naps. He
told me that I should limit nursing my newborn to 10 minutes a side
or I would have cracked bleeding n... Later, he was concerned that
my baby doesn't drink cow milk, and said calcium. I advised him
that cows are vegetarians, and the organic produce Nick eats (even
green leafy) will do better providing enough. He eats cheese and
incidental dairy, but this quack was making it like I should put cow
milk in a bottle for my 14 months old boy. Same kid, different

He went on to lecture me about he's seen cases of polio. I called
him on it, and said "not in this country", and he admitted it was in
India, and all polio in the US for the last decade was the vaccine

That was for the third kid, once I knew better.

My first child was compromised by the vaccines, and a techno birth.
How can her first immunization have been recalled for overdosing
babies on mercury in the hospital?

Every time I went to her ped, formula supplementation was
pressured. There were no breastfed baby weight charts then, and it
was a constant fight to prove that she was getting enough.

I am amazed at how much the medical industry has violated my trust.
As a parent, my most difficult issue is protecting my children from
modern medicine.

I'm still out three weeks salary because I chose a lay midwife for
an out of hospital birth, and the disabilty company said it was okay
until I returned to work, then they asked me to go find a doctor to

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

The bag from H... (rant)

That cute little bag, with bottles, ice packs and advice. It seemed so innocuous with the pretty print, and the smiley nurse handing it to me. The ready to serve formula, and even disposable nipples. Just in case you want it later.

When I was tired, confused, and barely a new mom, the hub tried to help. Oh, look, we have those bottles, the nurse must think it's okay, because she gave them to us. Let me just give the baby a bottle and give you a break, hon.

It always made things worse. Just one bottle makes baby fussy. Then comes the new spitup which doesn't wash out, and smells gross. The screaming, because she still wanted me. It always meant at least an hour of H... everytime he tried to give me a break with one of the GD bottles. Finally, he'd give up, and bring the baby back, I'd nurse and she'd calm down once that crap wore off. Without the bottles, he may have thought about other real alternatives, like giving the baby a bath, or just walking around the house showing her her new world.

I am angry that it could even happen. Oh, and the breastfeeding instructions from the formula company are downright fraud. Even worse that the What to expect hooha.

We have to stop this blatant comercialism. How can we even allow gifts intended for breastfeeding moms from such a questionable source? The free bottles leaked, the free cold pack wasn't good enough to cool down the milk, the a$$vice was intended to get you on formula. Very effective marketing, but not good for babies.

The 'gradual' advice which just arrived with more free formula took 8 days to replace all daytime feeds with formula. I wonder what's in their DHA supplement for nursing moms?

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Nurse In YMCA Ann Arbor Michigan 1PM Saturday Jan 28

I found the organizer, Krista. The time is from 1 to 2, in the
lobby. It was previously at noon, but they moved the time so LLL
group from dexter could come.

Apparently News crews from channels 2 & 4 should be there.

I'm leaving from Livonia at 12:15 if anyone wants a ride, I have 5
extra seats, and spare car seats if needed.

You don't need to be lactating to come. Please consider coming out
to show your support. Michigan rarely gets an event like this.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

NIP at Chuck E Cheese

(posted this to my nurse out group, and a slightly different version to that mommy group.)

Just went to a mommy group thing at Chuckie's. Thought I'd post
about what goes on in my head. This is why I started the group. So
we can all feel safe in public.

I'm so used to nursing in the comfort of my home, when we go out,
it's just so much of my day.

I bought a bra on the way there, and wore it for the first time at
chuckie's. The shirt creeping up in back. Finding a way out of the
new bra. (Not a nursing bra, never met one I liked) Usually I nurse
out the bottom of my shirt. I wasn't paying attention, and flipped
out the neckline, like when I'm at home. Can you see me with a paper
napkin, trying to cover that mistake? Can you see the toddler looking
over the booth wall curiously, and the mom pointedly ignoring her
curiousity? Can you see Nicholas shredding the napkin? (It's okay to
laugh here, he really did shred the napkin.)

I try to promote BF, and be a lactivist, but when I'm out in public,
alone... Besides, those moms were new to me, and I was trying to be
lowkey after last week's fiasco. The other yahoo group was not nice
about our discussion of the event at the Y. Moms basically told me
to shut up or they'd leave the group. They kept posting
misinformation, and when I'd reply to correct the myth, they'd say
they're sick of it, tell me to stop talking, and put in another jab,
which I needed to correct... (Short form, deleted many details,
just my perspective.)

I read about another mom being told to STOP bfing and move, every
day. Today the story was from California where the laws are very
clear, and the hostess still maintained that she was right, she said
(wrongfully) it was illegal, and she was nasty. Fortunately, her
manager was able to straighten her out, and apologize for her
behaviour. (Source was advocacy and support today's

It takes up a lot of my thinking when I Nurse In Public (NIP). Will I
be approached, will I be charged with something when I don't comply.
Here in Michigan we only have a small protection which prevents us
being charged with indecent exposure. We don't have the same
protections as other more crunchy states.

Even the way that many moms (on that other yahoo group) spoke up and
said no big deal about the
pool, you just have too... Seems to reinforce that here in Michigan,
we need a change.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

I was a wolf

You Were a Wolf

You have an instinctual intelligence that guides your life.
Your family and "pack" is of primary importance, and you protect them.

My mommy group posted a link to find totem animal. Funny, Vinnie and I were just talking about this.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Some one else feels oppressed by formula

* Not mine, this is from a friend
* in my mommy group

Subject: Kelli:Re: Northridge Church /Shannon, Sue

I never heard anyone say that choosing formula makes people completely
mindless. Many people choose formula. However, those who choose NOT to
use formula often spend YEARS defending their decision and policies put
in place by people who have NO BUSINESS offering any nutrition advice
make the situation worse for those who don't follow society's status
quo. FF moms don't have to deal with the dirty looks by strangers in
teh mall, the nutrition advice by all and sundry, being told that what
they are doing is "gross" or "sexual abuse" at most they may have to
deal with a breastfeeding advocate getting angry about the treatment
they receive while in public. I have NEVER heard anybody in a position
of public authority look at a ff mom and say, "YOu can't do that here."
It's UNTHINKABLE in this society that that would EVER happen. FF is the
NORM. BF is not but it's not this shameful little dirty secret only
freaks do either. I have Formula shoved down my throat EVERY SINGLE DAY
since I've become a mother, I'm sorry that some people get all offended
that I choose to use my breasts to nourish my children. My child, my
body, MY CHOICE. I should NOT ever have to deal with somebody telling
me that feeding my child is inappropriate. But I have and I do EVERY


Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Re: [sue already battled with] Northridge Church

My reply to another mom who doesn't attend northrigde

Re: [sue already battled with] Northridge Church
When Nicky was nine months old, I started using the nursery. He did
well the first time. The second time they asked me to bring a
bottle the next time. The third time I brought one of my last
bottles of expressed human milk. I was advised that it was a bodily
fluid, and they offered me free formula to replace the milk. I was
told that formula was safer. I was in tears.

Went into the main hall and used the free phone to call hubby enough
to settle down and drive. Many people were concerned until I
explained the issue, seeing me crying in the hall. They mostly
nodded and said safer, policy...

So I went to for information to include in a letter.
I wrote a letter to the church and attached the CDC and OSHA links
directly to their sites which state that it is not a hazard.

In the mean time, other moms looked up northridge and sent many
vitriolic emails and phone calls about this discriminatory issue.
Northrigde called me, before I contacted them. They wanted to know
what website this came from, and what I said. I gave them the site,
and pointed out that people were angry about policies posted on the
churches site. Anita Weldon, head of discovery island stated that
the policy was due to a baby being fed the wrong bottle, and the
months of testing and doubt that the parents were forced to endure
by their pediatrician. I stated that bottle mix ups should be
controlled through proper labelling, and not a possibility. I
informed her that the wrong bottle of formula can kill a baby with
servere allergies and is much more dangerous than a bottle of human
milk. I also pointed out that only doctors should advise a feeding
change that large, and church should not. I also asked them to stop
handing out free formula to breastfeeding moms. They did not budge
at all.

I am very concerned about this matter. If a lactivist like me can
be affected so much by their callous attitude, imagine this...

A mom has been going to church, she has a baby and nurses it for six
weeks. At six weeks, you qualify for their free daycare during the
service. You look forward to spending an hour being spiritual alone
in church service. You prepare the human milk bottle, the baby bag,
the baby, you go to drop them off, and you hear from this trusted
source of information that formula is safer, and breastmilk is a
bodily fluid. They offer you the free formula to replace your
precious expressed milk, and you feel shame.

Thank you for reminding me that I should persue this issue further.