Monday, August 16, 2010

If they are asking for it, they are too old

Yesterday, Veronica brought me a little picture album to ask me which cat was in a picture. We flipped through the other pages and I saw one of her. I explained that she was only a few minutes old, and look at those hands. She made this curly sort of gesture like she was looking to feel for boobs. I said that those hands meant she was asking to nurse.

If we look at the illogical phrase in the light of the bottlefeeding is normal commercial media. It does make sense. Typically scheduled bottle feedings should end when the child is talking. Asking for a feeding is wrong because we are supposed to watch the clock instead of the child. This is another case of holding breastfeeding moms to standards created for bottle feeding.
(reposted here from comments I made elsewhere, to save or myself)
Another stick has been disposed of.  Two weeks late, and no sign of anything.  CVS early response is 54% accurate four days before cycle start, and 99.9% on cycle start day.   So, if we haven't DTD in twelve days, that should mean.... Menopause ... Right?

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Stick said no

Ten days late.  POS last night, BFN.  It was new moon.  I'm thinking I should do something to commemorate the occasion.  In thirty years of cycling, I've never been a week late without involving a fetus.  This is the beginning of menopause,and I should celebrate my new phase.

I'm thinking some time alone might just be what I should do to honor the start.  From reading susun weed, I know that taking time to just be with my new self is the best thing I can do to embrace it instead of fighting.

(I don't usually use the acronyms, but I thought it might prevent this from being TMI for those who don't know the terms by heart(ache).)

Friday, August 06, 2010

Late again....

The happy visitor failed to arrive on Monday, and now it is Friday.  I guess I'll be buying a stick to pee on soon.  Not getting my hopes up.  I had my well person visit on Wednesday and talked about how my cycles are sometimes more frequent and sometimes the flow lasts much longer than my previous thirty years of cycling.  Her answer, "Welcome to menopause."

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Oh Well

I guess I can give away more baby stuff this month.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Still waiting

Yep, still waiting for my happy visitor. Couldn't help myself. est. DD Nov 29th

Any minute I expect to wipe and the dreams will end.

Again and Again, is it menopause or a baby?

How many years can I dream? Dream a little dream for me.

Monday, March 22, 2010


My happy visitor did not arrive this morning. Am I hopefull? Yes. Wondering if this is another chance. Not getting myhopes up, but dreaming again.

I did give away some baby stuff this cycle, thinking I was done.

Monday, February 08, 2010

words from a friend

My friend posted this recently to console someone else who had a recent loss.  I asked her permission to repost it here since it reflects my opinion so well.  Thanks Marlowe for letting me repost it here:

"I don't know what your beliefs are. If you believe in an afterlife and/or reincarnation, I wanted to share that I've read the idea that the most evolved souls are those who are with us for such a brief amount of time. Unlike the rest of us, those who leave us as babies or young kids had little to learn here on this plane; they are already ready to progress---to fly and soar in a different place and form. To love one of these souls is an honor; a painful, harrowing, sorrowful honor to be sure. "

(end quote)
Grief seems to come very slowly to me, I shed a few tears here and there, but haven't been consumed by it like so many others whose blogs I read.  Maybe because I already have three successfull pregnancies, another loss didn't hurt as bad.  I'm up to three losses and three babies.  Plus the bonus of my wonderful step-daughter.  It feels selfish having so much, and reading about others' loss to console myself.

Knowing I grew a baby long enough for God to welcome him back so soon does seem like an honor.