Friday, October 26, 2007

Awards for me ...

for Sophia 14 months

For Veronica 2 years

For Nicky 3 years and still going strong

Just thought I could use a pat on the back.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

still hoping, about so many things.

LilypieExpecting a baby Ticker

My life is in such turmoil right now, how can I even hope? Having trouble making ends meet. Hubbby has been back on Dairy. Milk it makes his body psycho.

Last night I dreamed that I gave birth. The hubby didn't call the midwife in time. Healthy baby, but a lecture for not calling. Yes, oh course, I birthed at home.

Wondering how to come up with $3000 for a homebirth. Thinking about just going to the hospital last minute like with Veronica. How cheap is that. Risking my baby by going to the hosptial. I love my new doc. She doesn't have hospital priveldges, she attends births at home.

So many things happening today. My parents went down home for a funeral. My girlfriend's hubby is in ICU for a fall from a roof. Measles are spreading in A^2.

I lurve my new mommy group. A place where extended breastfeeding and caring for your child is normal. Gentle parents who have a terrific amount of knowledge on how to care for your child, without smacking or shots.

So nice to be able to look into their lives. Hoping to spent more time with them. They are like parenting superheroes. Arnica, slings and homebirth, oh my. I think I've finally found normal.

Please send prayers for Joe.

Monday, October 08, 2007

I love Hathor

A video about breastfeeding in our milenium.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Still Dreaming

Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker

Well, day 0 has arrived again. The good news is that now Hubby has started to dream too. Also when I checked the Chinese birth calendar Aug conception for birthing at 41 years is a girl, but at 42 years it's a boy. Yep, I get two tries in august. The first and the 29th. Headed to update the due date next. April 23 plus one cycle equals May 21, so that would be a Taurus or a Gemini.

Dreaming is fun. Especially with no pressure. Already having three kids I'm not positive the goddess wants to send me more. Nice leaving it up to her.

note about the Chinese birth calendar: It's based on the month of conception and the age of Mom at birth.

Lilypie 21 - 37 day cycle Ticker

Tuesday, August 14, 2007


Well, in my eternally optomistic world, I calculated the due date. Even though my cycle isn't due until tomorrow. April 23.

Wondering if I'll even pee on a stick, and when. If Thursday morning comes without a happy visitor, I'll think about spending the money. But, I'd be pretty sure without it. Sore boobs, having to pee, a lot, and sleeping more. I go lay down at 8:30 to gestate.

Aren't dreams and hopes wonderful. Hubby is dreaming right along with me. He's even picked names, Alexander or Alexandria. So it's Alex either way. We recently saw Alexander the great, and decided on the name then.

Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker

Friday, August 03, 2007

Another chance

Well, after many months of no chance at all, due to lack of the necessary bit. I get another chance. Donation achieved, in the traditional manner on the ovulation date. We'll see how it goes.

Of course the symptoms started the very next day. Having to pee, suddenly. Cramping, tiredness. My mind hoping for a fourth birth.

Having a well person checkup next week. Looking forward to having Hubby meet my new doc, who specializes in home birth. As we were hoping for another birth, yesterday, we said he was sorry it wouldn't be with Bridgett. I tried to convince him Dr. Kathy would be just as good. I'd go with Bridgett again in a heartbeat, if only my employer would still pay my maternity leave.

After reading so many infertile, and pregnant infertile blogs, I almost feel guilty that I think I can have a baby this easily. At 41 should I really be trying again. I think the kids really want another. I would be great for teaching the girls how to mommy. Besides, I've got another forty years expected, so I'll be around for them. Already planning to work forever, and never retire.


Friday, June 29, 2007

How long?

Lilypie Breastfeeding Ticker

plus 14 month plus 2 years for the other two kids.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007


Hi Dorothy,

Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog. I only post sporadically.

Well, your matter seems urgent (see comment left on last blog entry). Please remember that you can refuse any treatment, even induction. Just say no. The doctors around here can be bullies. Which hospital makes a big difference.

The due date is the middle of the one month 95% confidence band. This means that 2.5% should run longer than 42 weeks. 50% should run longer than 40 weeks. The meds around here seem to think 38 weeks and out.

Please consider refusing pitocin. When I was in maternity triage at Beumont it seemed like they gave it to everyone, even the ones who were progressing. Pitocin makes it hurt worse, the artificially strong contracts look good on the monitor, but aren't good for the baby.

Hmmm, Waterford, Hopefully you're going to ABC Providence.

Don't let them break your bag of waters. I was threating break your water, or go home. I fell for it the first time. The second time I went home and had a good nights rest.

Actually it turns out that is an empty threat. If you want to stay you can.

Have you considered a Doula?

I'm praying for you. This is one of the worst aeras for patient rights. Insist on informed consent. If you don't understand, make them keep explaining until you do. Ask what risks are involved with each procedure. If they say none, they are lying. Even the IV has risks. When they pump you up full of fluids, it dilutes the hormones which are causing labor. Sometimes they will allow a HEP lock instead. That way you have a good vein tapped, but nothing going into it.

Insist that they let you drink water. Eat if you're hungry.

After the baby is born, don't let it out of your sight. Go along for the hearing test. Refuse formula. (I'm assuming you will breastfeed.) Hopefully you've already made up your mind not to circ. If not go to and there are lots of things to convince you in their forums.

stocking up 99 at y@h00 please decode, no spaces and you know that big internet ending, I'm hiding it from the bots.

Praying for a happy birth. Let that baby cook as long as you can. You may feel huge and miserable now, but a full term baby is so much easier to care for. With my first they convinced me that 37.5 weeks was enough. It was a rough start.

email me with any little issue, I'd be happy to help. I'm not a doctor, I have no medical background, but I have done six years of nursing among my kids. Rest and nurse, eat, drink and pee. If it's not on that list it can wait until hubby gets around to it. People will want to come see your newborn. They must wash their hands first, they should bring you some food with every visit. Ask them to bring food, you need to eat, and will not have time to cook.

It's your baby. You're a mom now, you make the rules.

(For anyone else - Yep over the top and opinionated, if you don't like it go read somewhere else. It's my blog.)

Friday, May 25, 2007

Another cycle - Another chancce to convince Hubby

I couldn't convince him to make a time appropriate contribution, for the last wo months. He thinks the littlest should be six before we add another.

Essay test

This test was posted at

By Mariah

This is your essay test:

1. What are the pros and cons for the US to have a SYSTEM of respectful partnerships between OBs, FPs, CNMs, and CPMs (to give adequate, necessary care that allow women to choose and be responsible?)

2. Who is responsible for the outcome of the outcome of ten months -- other than the mother?

2a. How does gestation and mother's life impact the labor and birth and who is truly "responsible" for the "outcome?"

3. To what degree and how is the medical or midwife caregiver legally responsible for the mother's choices, birth experience, and outcome?

4. How can obstetricians in the US decrease maternal and infant mortality? If you don't have an answer and are fine with the current situation of the maternal and fetal mortality, that will tell us a lot.

** here's what I replied ***

1) The Pros of a respectful partnership are Mother centered care with a focus on helping her see birth as a normal thing. An empowering birth leads to better breastfeeding, and a more confident mother. A more confident mother leads to fewer ER visits and "is this normal" frantic nightime calls to the ped. The Con is that it doesn't support the economy as well. Lower hospital costs, and less long term care doesn't push around as many dollors.

2) Sorry, I pick Mother. I am the keeper of my childrens health, until I empower them to choose for themselves. Just because the docs said it was a good idea, doesn't relieve me of my responsibilities. Okay, if I can't pick Mother, I'll pick the internet, where I can do random research.

2a) A healthy pregnancy lays the foundation for a lifetime of health. That's one of the benefits of a midwife, she helps with eating a healthy diet, and feeling well spiritually. Prenatal Scare is a poor way to start out. When the doctors take all the power, it leaves Mom in poor shape to care for a newborn, and dependant on the professionals.

3) Legally, doctors are free to cut you against your wishes. Midwives are to be hunted for any outcome, even optitmal ones. If you planned to birth in the hospital, and the cytotec kills, it is just God's will. If you birth a genetically incompetent baby at home, they say it's your fault, it would have somehow survived in the hopsital.

4) Support homebirth. Provide care when transports present at your hospital. Most doctors in my area will not do backup care, and would rather you labored alone at home, than with a midwife.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Do you have any more details about Baby Born in Birth Center Parking Lot?

Curious to see what this is really about. Mom called midwife, and
arrived alone at the birth center. (No Hubby?) The midwife mistook
her for someone who lived much farther away, and hadn't arrived yet.

Mom had the baby in the parking lot. This is where it gets weird.
Mom is panicked and runs to a nearby house, calls 911. And now 48
hours later the baby is in NICU, and the grandma is trying to put
the midwife out of business.

Is this just the standard midwife hunt? Why's the baby in NICU?
How long until the midwife did show up?

I firmly believe you're safer having a baby in a car, than in a
hospital. I would be the one sitting in the car nursing, until the
midwife arrived. I think this story underlines how indoctronated
women are to you can't have a baby without a professional to oversee

(For my second, I tried to convince the (now-ex)husband to pull the
car over, so I could have the birth on the side of the road. He just
kept driving.)

Wednesday, April 18, 2007


Hi All,

Just a little something to let you know I'm still here. Nice to know someone is reading, even if they only left a gutless anonymous post. Easy to bash others feeling if you don't leave a link to your blog. Way Way back in the church thinks breast milk is a hazardous bodily fluid archives, and they tried to shame me for putting other babies at risk. Hey, they wrong bottle of formula can kill instantly from anaphilactic shock, and the CDC has seen no evedence of tranmission of anything from just one bottle of another mom's BestMilk.

On other fronts, if it catches this week, I think it would have to be a girl. Hoping for a positive on Tuesday. If the happy visitor doesn't appear Monday, I'll probably go get a couple tests.

I had a hopeful time last month, but alas, I misread the calendar. The happy visitor arrives right on time.

Send a little prayer to Chelle, she's into crunch time at school, again.

Have you heard the Ronald McDonald House in Texas has reared an anti-boobie ugly oral policy? You can read it on in the Lactivism forum.

Yeah, announce that you are about to breastfeed, if you think anyone might be offended, and be discreet.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Another internet thingy

Your Personality Is Like Cocaine

You're dynamic, brilliant, and alluring to those who don't know you.
Hyper and full of energy, you're usually the last one to leave a party.
Sometimes your sharp mind gets the better of you... you're a bit paranoid!

Why do they scare laboring women

I left this comment at the Hospital Birth Debate today. She discussed why nurses and doctors create a climate of fear, with the best of intentions.

Thanks for making it clear. I have wondered why the nurses and doctors seemed intent to set me up for a surgical birth. Once we see it as normal, we produce similiar results.
The more I read your blog, the more I see how much I escaped from with my first birth. I shouldn't have had to fight for a chance at a vaginal delivery. But I wouldn't consent to a C. The magic 25 hours was up since he had prematurely broke my water, at 37.5 weeks. They said I was at 9, and they wanted to cut me. I said no I want to push, and they let me try. I'm amazed the my first born is still alive. The mercury, the induction, the stupidity (mine). She is not nearly as healthy as my next two. Thinking about starting EFT to try and help her.
I have said that birthing fixed me. This post helps me understand why I'm so much healthier now than before birthing out of the hospital. By creating a new model, I am closer to my natural self.

And on a similiar note this was in the news today;_ylt=Aq.Bttjhjf5jEWyALjddHsu9j7AB

TB exposure in NY at the hospital. Another reason to birth at home.

Friday, March 09, 2007

More unsolicited Advice

I left this at unexplain this, she is returning to work soon. The doc found a lump in her milk makers which may be a plugged duct. http:\\

I really like Yeast Defense. It is probiotics and cayenne, and keeps my milk makers happy. My midwife thought it was terriffic while nursing and pregnant. Available at most health food stores.
While your there maybe some organic flaxseed to sew into a pillow. I nuke it until it is hot, and apply at the first sign of any duct trouble. The heat will help to unplug it.
I remember how hard it was putting my first baby into daycare. Can you stagger the hours that your husband and you work? He did dropoff, and I did pickup so she could spend more time with a parent.
Two wonderful resources for nursing moms are and
I found that reading a hardcover book while I pumped at work improved my speed and supply. The hardcover was easier since I didn't have a handsfree setup, and it distracted me enough to help with letdown.
I figure that the one pump produced more than 4000 ounces of milk for my children. After eleven months I stop pumping, and my supply is well established for extended nursing after that.
Do you have an area set up for pumping at work? An extra set of horns was worth it, so I didn't have to wash them at work, just throw them in the dishwasher when I got home.
So happy for you. Thanks for sharing the baby moon with us.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Out of the Box

Wow, I love the ways Breast & Belly writes. People get so angry with me when I think outside the box. This post gives me some insite into why.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Hello 911, there is a pregnant person on my porch.

This post by Frectis strikes my fancy. Imagine the nerve of some people. Thinking he can show up on a midwifes doorstep, against his wife's wishes to save money. And what the bleep, insurances that no longer covers maternity services?

Been reading a bunch on birth recently. How are we harming children with all these confounded medical experiments. Really we don't know if hospital birth routines are safe.

I'd love for homebirth to be then norm, but without planning, it would endanger Frectis beeing able to help the women who want it.

After unplanned relative shows up on porch:

Hello 911, yes, I have a pregnant person on my porch who sounds like she may kill her husband. I think she's in labor.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Healthy Baby Diagnosed with Failure to Thrive - again

Hi, your internet healthcare provider here, another diagnosis on the nets in which I counter a doctor's horrible advice to wean since the scale said her baby lost a pound in ten days. In short, her baby is happy, healthy, and passing milestones promptly but the almighty scale said the baby lost a pound in ten days. So the doctor told her to cut out nighttime nursing and give water instead. To limit the nursing and give more solids. After a return visit where the baby had gained weight, she was coerced into supplementing with formula, and the baby only drank an ounce and then played with the bottle. Here's what I replied in her thread on

So sorry to hear that your ped is putting you through this grief.

Is he using a BF baby weight chart, or does it have formula ads on it? Did he recommend a lactation consultant? Does he have one on staff?The advice he gave you is aimed at weaning, not producing more milk. Most of the education he's had recently comes from the formula rep who visits with free samples and helpful office items. There is no boob rep.

When babies get mobile, they slim down. A one pound weight loss in ten days is not something I would believe. Something must be wonky with that scale. When you press on the baby's skin, does it go white and then return to normal quickly? Did he even show you how to check for hydration? If your baby had actually lost a pound that fast, you probably would have taken him to the ER for the more obvious signs of trouble, like projectile vomiting for a week.

I feel sorry for your ped, he can't handle the way that boobs don't have rings to measure ounces, and is trying to force you to use methods he can see.If all other signs are good, weight is not the end-all be-all of health. Milestones, temperament, skin color, and a full diaper pail of breastmilk poop are your health indicators. Please reconsider the slippery slope of supplementation he has coerced you to ride. How heavy is that diaper pail when you empty it? Diapers weigh very little, that weight is your milk.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Bender - Patrick

Here's a comment I left on Julia's blog. She was concerned her four year old was taking a liking to lipstick and tiarras. (Here There Be Hippogriffs - Bender Jenny left a nasty comment about how could she not force Patrick to comform, and soemthing about Julia's struggles for a second child being wrong if she considers tiarras appropriate for a boy. )

My six year old girl likes to wear dresses, in the winter, in Michigan, to school. We compromise, and she wears pants under the dress, and looks very nice. (Dress is short enough not to be a problem for gym.)

I put my two year old boy in a dress sometimes, just for giggles, and of course pictures. Especially if Daddy didn't want to change that last diaper. I think that by denying little things, they become big things. Unless you make a big deal of it most phases will pass.

Notice how Jenny didn't link to her blog? Can you imagine how many new visitors she would have, and the helpful comments we might have left?

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Interfaith Diversity Retreat

That sure was interesting. Exploring interfaith diversity through music. I just went on a 24 retreat. The price was right, it was close to home, and I brought lots of yarn.

I finished my scarf on the knitting loom. I finished the purple squares for my afghan, and started on the fuchsia. I had 22 hours away from the baby, and the big baby (DH).

It was interesting seeing the dynamics among the clergy who attended. They'd done this before, and seemed to be building friendships. All except on of the Muslims who kept trying to lead. He thought they needed to get the message out there, and crystallise the intent. I thought it was very nice just seeing them share together. The room really seemed to change every time he went out to answer his phone. He seemed to be on a very different wavelength. I think he had good intentions, but he appeared to bully the rest.

I was an outsider, being the only one who didn't have a congregation. They all seemed to lead a church, or mosque, or whatever. I received an invite through work, and it didn't really say what the group was about. Sharing spiritual music seemed like something to broaden my horizons. I just didn't know how far.

And, for the punch line. They wanted to continue the dialogue online, and no one knew how to set up a yahoo group, except me. So now I hold the moderator keys to their continuing dialogue.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Still here

Yeh, I went quiet for a while, but all is okay.

Thinking about trying for a little girl. Could be a possibility at this very minute.

Worried about the re-evaluation of support payments. We're 50/50 on custody, but he gets more nights the way it is set up. I get more time with them when they are awake. I pay him now, because I was making more when we set up the initial amount. Now he probably makes more, but they have probably forgotten the initial deal. Besides, I have another child now.

There is a spot where I can mark pregnant but at this point it's only a maybe. Knowing me, it is a probably, but the form is due before I'll be sure.

I may never be able to afford taking the girls on a vacation like their daddy does. He has bought a jet ski and a four wheeler, and a new grand prix. He can't be doing that bad. I'm selling my second car, since I need the money to pay bills. No sure if adding a page to the form is a good idea or not.

This year, the tax return didn't even dig me out of the whole. Hopefully I can recover my three weeeks salary lost from maternity leave and sell the car, but then what if I get hammered with more support?

I've been reading hosptial birth debate, and it really is convincing me I should do my part for the gene pool. So sad how all these well meaning people are hurting the future of the human race. (My Darwinist slant) Even premature cord clamping seems to be harming every baby.

Now that I found a care provider, getting pregged again really seems like a good option. I know, how will I afford it? The kids aren't really that expensive, its the household. I have a five bedroom home, and I think we'll all fit.

I've been reading a little bit pregnant. Wow, she is an amazing writter.

I'll try to write more often.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Prayers for her Boobies, and Praise for Herbie

Lavendar has Mastis, please send prayers her way. Here's the comment I left on her blog:

Sending prayers your way. Mastis is often a signal that you need to care for yourself, more.

At the first sign of trouble, I have my hot herbie. Organic flaxseed, sewn into a bit of fabric, about a pound. Then I microwave it until it is warmer than I can take, and put it on any sore spot on my mighty milk makers, with a shirt or something to mitigate the heat.

I rest and apply that at the first sign of trouble.

You may want to check with your midwife if heat is okay first. I've been lucky in my half dozen years of production not to get mastis, so I don't know the rules.

I think Herbie has kept my jugs a flowwing. I keep some in the freezer for booboos too. They can go from freezer to microwave in case a sore muscle wants heat too.

(Hopefully some unsolicited internet advice and a chuckle can help too ;)

Thursday, January 18, 2007

For the Baby, not for the 'experience'

A small clip from his post: "I still think that the best solution is for hospital based deliveries to get better, to ditch the impersonal and degrading garbage associated with them."

Today NeoHero may have saved more babies than he realizes. The link above should lead you to his post. My reply is below:

Pro-homebirther here, I fled from the hospital based infirmary system to protect the baby, not for the experience. In all my reading I've only seen pro-hospital folks think we did it for the experience.

After reading Henci Goer, Obstretric Myths vs Research realities, I knew that the interventions cause the majority of the depressed babies. Even the IV was shown to delay labor. It dilutes the hormones in your bloodstream that the baby put there to say, "Now". The intake forms dismiss labor. Literally we get scared and shut down labor. Animals need a safe quiet place to labor, if they are threatened, they can delay labor until safe.

Thanks for acknowledging that hospitals must change if we want fewer dead babies. How 'bout if we start by forbidding the docs to say, "We must break your water or you have to go home"?

Too Much for Mothering

I posted the previous blog entry minus the title and the first paragraph at, with the Title Disappointed to see this moved to Breastfeeding. It was moved from the Lactivism forum to the general breastfeeding area.

My post was yanked and I was told that critisizing the moderators was against the user agreement. I thought disappointment expressed my feelings, not a critique of her skills. The mods must have a hard enough time with so many diverse members (chrunchy?). My disappointment is that people still don't get it, the way doctors are always putting down the boob, and honoring the formula through the formula reps repeated 'free educational' visits.

Any message from a doctor which states that formula has it, but breastmilk doesn't, so you need to do X to make up for not using formula should be countered by lactivism.

Thinking about sending the mod a note, but it would probably just make her bad day worse. I reposted the entry, minus the title line. What do you think? I removed the disappointed part, and just posted the rest. Capitualation?

I can't really think how to phrase a reply to the mod that wouldn't dig a deeper hole. I think I'm growing. Like how yesterday I started with a compliment about how I liked the new paper towel dispensers at work, before I asked to have one adjusted. The new ones you just pull the paper out, no handle to push.

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Breastfed Infants Hassled gain - Lactivism vs the Doctors/Formula Reps

Disappointed to see the thread where a doctor suggested iron drops for a breastfed infant moved from the Lactivist forum at to the Breastfeeding forum.

Peds give the message that "formula has X level of iron, and Breastmilk doesn't. You must give these drops (of basically poison if given in a higher dose) to make your milk as good as formula."

I see this as another message that breastmilk is less than formula. The formula reps have mal-educated the doctors, again. Yes it is true that formula has higher levels of iron than breastmilk. What they leave out is that the iron in breastmilk is much more adsorbable, and doesn't have the harmful side effects of artificially added iron. Also, since breastmilk doesn't irratate the stomach lining and cause that blood loss inot the intestines, a little iron goes a whole lot farther.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Let's go for a Walk

( posted as a commnet on a friend's blog. hoping to remember to post more about his later.)

What's the name of the diet? Which magazine?

I'll probably be starting Weight Watchers again here at work, but only because it's free, and that way I get on a scale every week. I signed up last time to see if I was losing too fast for no reason. Thinking about going back to Sommersizing again. The good old food combing from the sixties, seems to work for me.

Seems like I've tried everything except Atkins. Sommmersizing is close, but not restrictive on good carbs. The no white stuff rule seems to help me feel good.

Let's go for a walk when you have a minute. I've been pushing Nicky around, can't wait for his little legs to get a little longer. I figure he gets enough miles in my living room.

Can cord clamping increase Bilirubin levels?

( a comment I left at neonataldoc's blog, he was commenting on billilights possibles causing moles. )

Wondering if anyone has a link to support that the premature clamping of the umbillical cord may be the cause of high bilirubin levels.

Many natural birthers believe that you should at least wait for the cord to stop pulsing before clamping it. This allows the blood to go where it needs to. Funny thing is when I asked to delay clapming the cord at an OB practice, all four doctors gave me different answers why they had to clamp right away. Two were in direct conflict. One said the baby will get to much blood, another said that baby will loose blood back into the mom, another said mom would bleed too much, and the other said they needed to get the baby under the warmer right away or the baby would get cold. Funny none of that happened when I had a baby at the midwife's birth center, where they wrapped up the placenta and put baby, husband and I down for a nap, in the same bed, before clamping and cutting the cord hours later.

Sure, if neohero needs to help the baby, waiting for dad to fumble the scissors is silly, but for healthy full term babies I don't see the rush.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Where do we draw the line?

Welcome to Blogspot Fellowman, http:://

In my mind there is no debate, it should be up to the parents to decide the fate of their baby, everytime.

When interviewing my care provider for my last pregnancy, one of my questions was, 'Will you help protect my baby from aggressive care?'.

I had a feeling with this one, that it wasn't meant to survive. I wanted to protect it from being delayed in becoming an angel, or tortured. Turns out that I chose well. When I called her at 10 weeks (LMP) to see what her protocol was, she said I could go for a D&C but she didn't recomend it. A previous provider had sent me to ER, and that was horrible. So much easier this time, just letting my body handle it. The medical industry messes with birth, why didn't I realize they would mess with miscarriage also.

I'm a natural birth advocate. I firmly believe we are safer birthing at home, with a qualified attendant and a nearby hospital.

Should I have tried to rescue my blighted ovum? Many people would think that by just miscarrying, with only a phone call for care that I didn't do enough. Where do we draw the line?

Thursday, January 04, 2007

She seems Definate

Saw the Doctor last night. From what I described she said blighted ovum, no longer pregnant. No tests, just call if I have any extra bleeding. Since I hardly spot the pad after only three days, I think it's over.

I look pale as a ghost. My husband sugested the tanning booth to fix it. I asked him to go make me another chocolate milkshake, and he packed me lunch. I haven't really lost that much blood, I think it's just the hormones making a sudden change. I'm back to work today. I took two days to lay around the house. My timing is terrible. The misscarriage occured the last night of our holiday shutdown. At least this time I was only out for two days. Last time I was out for a week and in misery. It figures, the medical industry would be hurtful and harmful about miscarriage just like birth. Without the trip to ER, and the drugs, this time it was much easier. My body rocks.

Asking about birth control slipped my mind. Do I want another child or is four enough. (counting three I gave birth to, and one step-child.)

Well, if I think about it long enough, Gods will decide for me.

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Likely to be over now.

Well, I think I have miscarried. It was easy this time. I wonder if the doctor's drugs made the first one harder. The first time I was given methergine and pain pills. I was in agony for more than a week.

This time, I spotted a little and lost the plug in the morning, and then that evening I emptied my uterus with a spash. Can't see how there could be a baby left in there after that much glop. I see my doctor tonight, and we'll see what she says. When I paged her to see what her protocol was, she said I could go get a D&C but she doesn't recommend it, and to keep my appointment today. That trip to the ER with the first was hell, glad to skip it this time.

It really wasn't a good time to have a baby anyways. My youngest is only two and we are still nursing. I work full time, and they just gutted my benefits. Maybe later, but the idea of hauling another one around seemed daunting.

Going to ask about birth control. I don't think there is any safe answer.

Really glad I didn't spared the news around in real life. Don't feel sad about this, I already have three children and a step child, five may have been to many.