RE:productive Responsibility?

Here's your chance to blast me.

I have given birth three times. Two girls with the Ex, and one year
old son with Hubby. He has a nine year old, also. That's four
kids. My two girls are 50/50 with their dad. His visits anytime
she wants, mostly weekends.

During the school year my girls are home with me from Friday after
school, until Monday for school, three weekends a month. The Ex
insisted Pinckey schools were better than Livonia (not) and takes
them there even though we both work in Dearborn. I got the better
end of that bargain, the whole weekend which is what we work for
anyways.

Well, anyways, this leaves little Nicholas as an only child for most
of the week. I'm thinking about another to keep him company. Like
cats, two will entertain each other.

Hubby said he wants Nick to be older first. Something like three.
I'm 39 now, mine are 1,5, & 7. My home has five bedrooms and two
baths. I've been at the same job 13 years as an engineer
researching fuel economy and emissions.

So, what do I do? Rythym method. Ha Ha. At my age, using just the
calendar to prevent conception???? While breastfeeding? Believe it
or not, I started cycling at six weeks post partum, and haven't
missed one yet. How did I get away with it for more than a year?

How responsible is it to just think that either God will give me
another child, or menopause will take care of it? I worked for
years to concieve my first, the second caught on my second cycle
post partum (nine months), the third was concieved on the first
cycle I tried.

How arrogant is it to think that although I work full time and
support the family, that it will be one more breastfed infant to
help the gene pool? Two are formula free, and the first only had a
little until I knew better. (please, no slam intended here, just
genetics - if baby doesn't bf, gene pool reacts to dead mom message,
if mom doesn't bf, she reacts to dead baby message for next child.
I believe that this may explain the soaring disease rate. I know
that formula moms do what they feel is best for their kids.) No day
care, I am grateful that my hubby can be an at home Dad.