Cooking Candy

Well, still on the random access theme. Random glimpses into my life. We are on a candy making binge at home. Marshmallows, first I made a batch to prove it could be done better at home. Then hubby repeated it, to prove he could. Now he talks about whipping up some marshmallows like it is an everyday thing. As the bonus, ours taste better and don't have two dyes and terasodiumphosphate. The cost is about the same.

So, what do you do when you find baking chocolate but no box? How can you tell if it is sweet, semi-sweet, or unsweetened? Well, I couldn't tell, and I didn't want to bake with it, so the obvious choice was candy. I threw those three unknown squares into my candy/popcorn pot (2.5 quart covered nonstick sauce pan) with the end of the bag of sugar, and the end of the bag of powdered sugar, some turbinado, some cocoa, some corn syrup, a stick of butter and some water. Heat gently on med low until it boils down the sides of the pot, then cover five minutes to steam down the sides of the pot. Add candy thermometer and watch without touching until soft ball stage was reached. Remove from heat, add a splash (2t) of vanilla and stir while bubbling. Pour unto parchment (ungreased) cover and wait. (The cover keeps the kids and cats out, other homes may not require this step) I waited overnight and the fudgy goodness was easily peeled from the parchment and cut with scissors. The kids loved it. My hubby said this is what tootsie rolls wanted to be.

I joined spark people so cooking may have even more interesting turns.

On the babymaking front, hubby is starting to talk about doing it on purpose. He thinks I could get preg any Monday, I explained it was every fourth Monday. (slaphead)

Although, at my 'advanced maternal age' I could be ovulatiing anytime. I told him every other day would work better than Mondays. ;)

Thingy

Bah Humbug

So tired of the comercial Xmas. Hoping to make a happy holiday for my family out of construction paper, string, playdough and glue. This year my focus will be on Jesus and giving.

Food & Fun

Still not preg, aunt flo should be making her happy visit tomorrow.

On the live food front, man, you should see my hubby. He has realized how much food can f*ck with your life. Now, I do most of the shopping alone, and he eats the fresh food I provide. He is looking and feeling like a whole new person. The man who didn't used to be able to walk fast with me is now biking fourty miles just to see his pal.

Adventures in sprouting have been hit or miss. Sometimes yummy, sometimes forgotten and tossed. Instant soup has been a staple. A little broth and beans with a 24 hour sprout just needs to be heated and it's ready. The beans don't need 'cooking' since the sprouting makes them digestible. (do not sprout the beans in the broth, use water and discard.)

I am now a webmaster. Hear me roar. Hoping to make some fancy bits here soon. Wondering how much a site on the outside costs. Are there any free places to put my html so the kids can see it? I'm going to try putting some things here.

Try again?

Well, I'm almost old enough to give up. The ticker probably won't be so loud anymore. Nicky is getting old enough to be helpful and listen to directions. He's almost ready to be done with diapers.

Am I ready to give up. After reading infertile blogs for so long, it seems like cheating. It is so hard for those women to get and stay pregnant, how can I just not do it when it might be so easy.


Well, how fair is it to the new baby? Grandbabies in about a decade. I'd be in my sixties when he'd be in college. Why do I let other peoples expectations even factor into this?

I'm really starting to beleive in no birth control, leave it up to God....

Nothing much

Just checking in, in case anyone reads this. Not preg, getting over the winter nasties. Starting to shows hubs the live food diet.

Adventures in sprouting will commence.

Not much going on...

Just stopping in to say, nothing.

Calendar day 8 was my chance this month. Haven't even had a chance in way tooooo loooong.........

Awards for me ...

for Sophia 14 months


For Veronica 2 years


For Nicky 3 years and still going strong


Just thought I could use a pat on the back.

still hoping, about so many things.

My life is in such turmoil right now, how can I even hope? Having trouble making ends meet. Hubbby has been back on Dairy. Milk it makes his body psycho.

Last night I dreamed that I gave birth. The hubby didn't call the midwife in time. Healthy baby, but a lecture for not calling. Yes, oh course, I birthed at home.

Wondering how to come up with $3000 for a homebirth. Thinking about just going to the hospital last minute like with Veronica. How cheap is that. Risking my baby by going to the hosptial. I love my new doc. She doesn't have hospital priveldges, she attends births at home.

So many things happening today. My parents went down home for a funeral. My girlfriend's hubby is in ICU for a fall from a roof. Measles are spreading in A^2.

I lurve my new mommy group. A place where extended breastfeeding and caring for your child is normal. Gentle parents who have a terrific amount of knowledge on how to care for your child, without smacking or shots.

So nice to be able to look into their lives. Hoping to spent more time with them. They are like parenting superheroes. Arnica, slings and homebirth, oh my. I think I've finally found normal.

Please send prayers for Joe.

I love Hathor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LU3nYxuppVU

A video about breastfeeding in our milenium.

Still Dreaming

Well, day 0 has arrived again. The good news is that now Hubby has started to dream too. Also when I checked the Chinese birth calendar Aug conception for birthing at 41 years is a girl, but at 42 years it's a boy. Yep, I get two tries in august. The first and the 29th. Headed to update the due date next. April 23 plus one cycle equals May 21, so that would be a Taurus or a Gemini.

Dreaming is fun. Especially with no pressure. Already having three kids I'm not positive the goddess wants to send me more. Nice leaving it up to her.

note about the Chinese birth calendar: It's based on the month of conception and the age of Mom at birth.

Dreaming

Well, in my eternally optomistic world, I calculated the due date. Even though my cycle isn't due until tomorrow. April 23.

Wondering if I'll even pee on a stick, and when. If Thursday morning comes without a happy visitor, I'll think about spending the money. But, I'd be pretty sure without it. Sore boobs, having to pee, a lot, and sleeping more. I go lay down at 8:30 to gestate.

Aren't dreams and hopes wonderful. Hubby is dreaming right along with me. He's even picked names, Alexander or Alexandria. So it's Alex either way. We recently saw Alexander the great, and decided on the name then.

A button for good hopes

href="http://www.cyclesista.com/2007/06/sidebar-bling.html">Get a button

Another chance

Well, after many months of no chance at all, due to lack of the necessary bit. I get another chance. Donation achieved, in the traditional manner on the ovulation date. We'll see how it goes.

Of course the symptoms started the very next day. Having to pee, suddenly. Cramping, tiredness. My mind hoping for a fourth birth.

Having a well person checkup next week. Looking forward to having Hubby meet my new doc, who specializes in home birth. As we were hoping for another birth, yesterday, we said he was sorry it wouldn't be with Bridgett. I tried to convince him Dr. Kathy would be just as good. I'd go with Bridgett again in a heartbeat, if only my employer would still pay my maternity leave.

After reading so many infertile, and pregnant infertile blogs, I almost feel guilty that I think I can have a baby this easily. At 41 should I really be trying again. I think the kids really want another. I would be great for teaching the girls how to mommy. Besides, I've got another forty years expected, so I'll be around for them. Already planning to work forever, and never retire.

Presumptuously

How long?

plus 14 month plus 2 years for the other two kids.

Dorothy

Hi Dorothy,

Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog. I only post sporadically.

Well, your matter seems urgent (see comment left on last blog entry). Please remember that you can refuse any treatment, even induction. Just say no. The doctors around here can be bullies. Which hospital makes a big difference.

The due date is the middle of the one month 95% confidence band. This means that 2.5% should run longer than 42 weeks. 50% should run longer than 40 weeks. The meds around here seem to think 38 weeks and out.

Please consider refusing pitocin. When I was in maternity triage at Beumont it seemed like they gave it to everyone, even the ones who were progressing. Pitocin makes it hurt worse, the artificially strong contracts look good on the monitor, but aren't good for the baby.

Hmmm, Waterford, Hopefully you're going to ABC Providence.

Don't let them break your bag of waters. I was threating break your water, or go home. I fell for it the first time. The second time I went home and had a good nights rest.

Actually it turns out that is an empty threat. If you want to stay you can.

Have you considered a Doula?

I'm praying for you. This is one of the worst aeras for patient rights. Insist on informed consent. If you don't understand, make them keep explaining until you do. Ask what risks are involved with each procedure. If they say none, they are lying. Even the IV has risks. When they pump you up full of fluids, it dilutes the hormones which are causing labor. Sometimes they will allow a HEP lock instead. That way you have a good vein tapped, but nothing going into it.

Insist that they let you drink water. Eat if you're hungry.


After the baby is born, don't let it out of your sight. Go along for the hearing test. Refuse formula. (I'm assuming you will breastfeed.) Hopefully you've already made up your mind not to circ. If not go to mothering.com and there are lots of things to convince you in their forums.

stocking up 99 at y@h00 please decode, no spaces and you know that big internet ending, I'm hiding it from the bots.

Praying for a happy birth. Let that baby cook as long as you can. You may feel huge and miserable now, but a full term baby is so much easier to care for. With my first they convinced me that 37.5 weeks was enough. It was a rough start.

email me with any little issue, I'd be happy to help. I'm not a doctor, I have no medical background, but I have done six years of nursing among my kids. Rest and nurse, eat, drink and pee. If it's not on that list it can wait until hubby gets around to it. People will want to come see your newborn. They must wash their hands first, they should bring you some food with every visit. Ask them to bring food, you need to eat, and will not have time to cook.

It's your baby. You're a mom now, you make the rules.

(For anyone else - Yep over the top and opinionated, if you don't like it go read somewhere else. It's my blog.)

Another cycle - Another chancce to convince Hubby

I couldn't convince him to make a time appropriate contribution, for the last wo months. He thinks the littlest should be six before we add another.

Essay test

This test was posted at http://hospitalbirthdebate.blogspot.com/

By Mariah

This is your essay test:

1. What are the pros and cons for the US to have a SYSTEM of respectful partnerships between OBs, FPs, CNMs, and CPMs (to give adequate, necessary care that allow women to choose and be responsible?)

2. Who is responsible for the outcome of the outcome of ten months -- other than the mother?

2a. How does gestation and mother's life impact the labor and birth and who is truly "responsible" for the "outcome?"

3. To what degree and how is the medical or midwife caregiver legally responsible for the mother's choices, birth experience, and outcome?

4. How can obstetricians in the US decrease maternal and infant mortality? If you don't have an answer and are fine with the current situation of the maternal and fetal mortality, that will tell us a lot.

** here's what I replied ***

1) The Pros of a respectful partnership are Mother centered care with a focus on helping her see birth as a normal thing. An empowering birth leads to better breastfeeding, and a more confident mother. A more confident mother leads to fewer ER visits and "is this normal" frantic nightime calls to the ped. The Con is that it doesn't support the economy as well. Lower hospital costs, and less long term care doesn't push around as many dollors.

2) Sorry, I pick Mother. I am the keeper of my childrens health, until I empower them to choose for themselves. Just because the docs said it was a good idea, doesn't relieve me of my responsibilities. Okay, if I can't pick Mother, I'll pick the internet, where I can do random research.

2a) A healthy pregnancy lays the foundation for a lifetime of health. That's one of the benefits of a midwife, she helps with eating a healthy diet, and feeling well spiritually. Prenatal Scare is a poor way to start out. When the doctors take all the power, it leaves Mom in poor shape to care for a newborn, and dependant on the professionals.

3) Legally, doctors are free to cut you against your wishes. Midwives are to be hunted for any outcome, even optitmal ones. If you planned to birth in the hospital, and the cytotec kills, it is just God's will. If you birth a genetically incompetent baby at home, they say it's your fault, it would have somehow survived in the hopsital.

4) Support homebirth. Provide care when transports present at your hospital. Most doctors in my area will not do backup care, and would rather you labored alone at home, than with a midwife.

testing the weather pixie

Do you have any more details about Baby Born in Birth Center Parking Lot?

http://www.fox12news.com/Global/story.asp?S=6391600

Curious to see what this is really about. Mom called midwife, and
arrived alone at the birth center. (No Hubby?) The midwife mistook
her for someone who lived much farther away, and hadn't arrived yet.

Mom had the baby in the parking lot. This is where it gets weird.
Mom is panicked and runs to a nearby house, calls 911. And now 48
hours later the baby is in NICU, and the grandma is trying to put
the midwife out of business.

Is this just the standard midwife hunt? Why's the baby in NICU?
How long until the midwife did show up?

I firmly believe you're safer having a baby in a car, than in a
hospital. I would be the one sitting in the car nursing, until the
midwife arrived. I think this story underlines how indoctronated
women are to you can't have a baby without a professional to oversee
it.

(For my second, I tried to convince the (now-ex)husband to pull the
car over, so I could have the birth on the side of the road. He just
kept driving.)

Try Again

Something

Hi All,

Just a little something to let you know I'm still here. Nice to know someone is reading, even if they only left a gutless anonymous post. Easy to bash others feeling if you don't leave a link to your blog. Way Way back in the church thinks breast milk is a hazardous bodily fluid archives, and they tried to shame me for putting other babies at risk. Hey, they wrong bottle of formula can kill instantly from anaphilactic shock, and the CDC has seen no evedence of tranmission of anything from just one bottle of another mom's BestMilk.

On other fronts, if it catches this week, I think it would have to be a girl. Hoping for a positive on Tuesday. If the happy visitor doesn't appear Monday, I'll probably go get a couple tests.

I had a hopeful time last month, but alas, I misread the calendar. The happy visitor arrives right on time.

Send a little prayer to Chelle, she's into crunch time at school, again.

Have you heard the Ronald McDonald House in Texas has reared an anti-boobie ugly oral policy? You can read it on Mothering.com in the Lactivism forum.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=656675

Yeah, announce that you are about to breastfeed, if you think anyone might be offended, and be discreet.

ticker

Another internet thingy

Your Personality Is Like Cocaine

You're dynamic, brilliant, and alluring to those who don't know you. Hyper and full of energy, you're usually the last one to leave a party. Sometimes your sharp mind gets the better of you... you're a bit paranoid!

What Drug Is Your Personality Like?

Why do they scare laboring women

I left this comment at the Hospital Birth Debate today. She discussed why nurses and doctors create a climate of fear, with the best of intentions.

http://hospitalbirthdebate.blogspot.com/2007/03/reason-they-disrupt-mothers-in-labor.html

Thanks for making it clear. I have wondered why the nurses and doctors seemed intent to set me up for a surgical birth. Once we see it as normal, we produce similiar results.
The more I read your blog, the more I see how much I escaped from with my first birth. I shouldn't have had to fight for a chance at a vaginal delivery. But I wouldn't consent to a C. The magic 25 hours was up since he had prematurely broke my water, at 37.5 weeks. They said I was at 9, and they wanted to cut me. I said no I want to push, and they let me try. I'm amazed the my first born is still alive. The mercury, the induction, the stupidity (mine). She is not nearly as healthy as my next two. Thinking about starting EFT to try and help her.
I have said that birthing fixed me. This post helps me understand why I'm so much healthier now than before birthing out of the hospital. By creating a new model, I am closer to my natural self.

And on a similiar note this was in the news today

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070315/ap_on_he_me/tb_exposure;_ylt=Aq.Bttjhjf5jEWyALjddHsu9j7AB

TB exposure in NY at the hospital. Another reason to birth at home.

More unsolicited Advice

I left this at unexplain this, she is returning to work soon. The doc found a lump in her milk makers which may be a plugged duct. http:\\unexplainthis.blogspot.com



I really like Yeast Defense. It is probiotics and cayenne, and keeps my milk makers happy. My midwife thought it was terriffic while nursing and pregnant. Available at most health food stores.
While your there maybe some organic flaxseed to sew into a pillow. I nuke it until it is hot, and apply at the first sign of any duct trouble. The heat will help to unplug it.
I remember how hard it was putting my first baby into daycare. Can you stagger the hours that your husband and you work? He did dropoff, and I did pickup so she could spend more time with a parent.
Two wonderful resources for nursing moms are www.kellymom.com and mothering.com
I found that reading a hardcover book while I pumped at work improved my speed and supply. The hardcover was easier since I didn't have a handsfree setup, and it distracted me enough to help with letdown.
I figure that the one pump produced more than 4000 ounces of milk for my children. After eleven months I stop pumping, and my supply is well established for extended nursing after that.
Do you have an area set up for pumping at work? An extra set of horns was worth it, so I didn't have to wash them at work, just throw them in the dishwasher when I got home.
So happy for you. Thanks for sharing the baby moon with us.

Out of the Box

Wow, I love the ways Breast & Belly writes. People get so angry with me when I think outside the box. This post gives me some insite into why.

http://homeschoolislove2.blogspot.com/2007/03/how-come-no-one-is-ever-concerned-when.html

Hello 911, there is a pregnant person on my porch.

http://frectis.net/?p=603#comment-3651

This post by Frectis strikes my fancy. Imagine the nerve of some people. Thinking he can show up on a midwifes doorstep, against his wife's wishes to save money. And what the bleep, insurances that no longer covers maternity services?

Been reading a bunch on birth recently. How are we harming children with all these confounded medical experiments. Really we don't know if hospital birth routines are safe.

I'd love for homebirth to be then norm, but without planning, it would endanger Frectis beeing able to help the women who want it.

After unplanned relative shows up on porch:

Hello 911, yes, I have a pregnant person on my porch who sounds like she may kill her husband. I think she's in labor.

Healthy Baby Diagnosed with Failure to Thrive - again

Hi, your internet healthcare provider here, another diagnosis on the nets in which I counter a doctor's horrible advice to wean since the scale said her baby lost a pound in ten days. In short, her baby is happy, healthy, and passing milestones promptly but the almighty scale said the baby lost a pound in ten days. So the doctor told her to cut out nighttime nursing and give water instead. To limit the nursing and give more solids. After a return visit where the baby had gained weight, she was coerced into supplementing with formula, and the baby only drank an ounce and then played with the bottle. Here's what I replied in her thread on Mothering.com:

So sorry to hear that your ped is putting you through this grief.

Is he using a BF baby weight chart, or does it have formula ads on it? Did he recommend a lactation consultant? Does he have one on staff?The advice he gave you is aimed at weaning, not producing more milk. Most of the education he's had recently comes from the formula rep who visits with free samples and helpful office items. There is no boob rep.

When babies get mobile, they slim down. A one pound weight loss in ten days is not something I would believe. Something must be wonky with that scale. When you press on the baby's skin, does it go white and then return to normal quickly? Did he even show you how to check for hydration? If your baby had actually lost a pound that fast, you probably would have taken him to the ER for the more obvious signs of trouble, like projectile vomiting for a week.

I feel sorry for your ped, he can't handle the way that boobs don't have rings to measure ounces, and is trying to force you to use methods he can see.If all other signs are good, weight is not the end-all be-all of health. Milestones, temperament, skin color, and a full diaper pail of breastmilk poop are your health indicators. Please reconsider the slippery slope of supplementation he has coerced you to ride. How heavy is that diaper pail when you empty it? Diapers weigh very little, that weight is your milk.

Bender - Patrick

Here's a comment I left on Julia's blog. She was concerned her four year old was taking a liking to lipstick and tiarras. (Here There Be Hippogriffs - Bender http://julia.typepad.com/julia/2007/02/bender.html Jenny left a nasty comment about how could she not force Patrick to comform, and soemthing about Julia's struggles for a second child being wrong if she considers tiarras appropriate for a boy. )


My six year old girl likes to wear dresses, in the winter, in Michigan, to school. We compromise, and she wears pants under the dress, and looks very nice. (Dress is short enough not to be a problem for gym.)

I put my two year old boy in a dress sometimes, just for giggles, and of course pictures. Especially if Daddy didn't want to change that last diaper. I think that by denying little things, they become big things. Unless you make a big deal of it most phases will pass.

Notice how Jenny didn't link to her blog? Can you imagine how many new visitors she would have, and the helpful comments we might have left?

Interfaith Diversity Retreat

That sure was interesting. Exploring interfaith diversity through music. I just went on a 24 retreat. The price was right, it was close to home, and I brought lots of yarn.

I finished my scarf on the knitting loom. I finished the purple squares for my afghan, and started on the fuchsia. I had 22 hours away from the baby, and the big baby (DH).

It was interesting seeing the dynamics among the clergy who attended. They'd done this before, and seemed to be building friendships. All except on of the Muslims who kept trying to lead. He thought they needed to get the message out there, and crystallise the intent. I thought it was very nice just seeing them share together. The room really seemed to change every time he went out to answer his phone. He seemed to be on a very different wavelength. I think he had good intentions, but he appeared to bully the rest.

I was an outsider, being the only one who didn't have a congregation. They all seemed to lead a church, or mosque, or whatever. I received an invite through work, and it didn't really say what the group was about. Sharing spiritual music seemed like something to broaden my horizons. I just didn't know how far.

And, for the punch line. They wanted to continue the dialogue online, and no one knew how to set up a yahoo group, except me. So now I hold the moderator keys to their continuing dialogue.

Still here

Yeh, I went quiet for a while, but all is okay.

Thinking about trying for a little girl. Could be a possibility at this very minute.

Worried about the re-evaluation of support payments. We're 50/50 on custody, but he gets more nights the way it is set up. I get more time with them when they are awake. I pay him now, because I was making more when we set up the initial amount. Now he probably makes more, but they have probably forgotten the initial deal. Besides, I have another child now.

There is a spot where I can mark pregnant but at this point it's only a maybe. Knowing me, it is a probably, but the form is due before I'll be sure.

I may never be able to afford taking the girls on a vacation like their daddy does. He has bought a jet ski and a four wheeler, and a new grand prix. He can't be doing that bad. I'm selling my second car, since I need the money to pay bills. No sure if adding a page to the form is a good idea or not.

This year, the tax return didn't even dig me out of the whole. Hopefully I can recover my three weeeks salary lost from maternity leave and sell the car, but then what if I get hammered with more support?

I've been reading hosptial birth debate, and it really is convincing me I should do my part for the gene pool. So sad how all these well meaning people are hurting the future of the human race. (My Darwinist slant) Even premature cord clamping seems to be harming every baby.

Now that I found a care provider, getting pregged again really seems like a good option. I know, how will I afford it? The kids aren't really that expensive, its the household. I have a five bedroom home, and I think we'll all fit.

I've been reading a little bit pregnant. Wow, she is an amazing writter.

I'll try to write more often.

Prayers for her Boobies, and Praise for Herbie

Lavendar has Mastis, please send prayers her way. Here's the comment I left on her blog:

Sending prayers your way. Mastis is often a signal that you need to care for yourself, more.

At the first sign of trouble, I have my hot herbie. Organic flaxseed, sewn into a bit of fabric, about a pound. Then I microwave it until it is warmer than I can take, and put it on any sore spot on my mighty milk makers, with a shirt or something to mitigate the heat.

I rest and apply that at the first sign of trouble.

You may want to check with your midwife if heat is okay first. I've been lucky in my half dozen years of production not to get mastis, so I don't know the rules.

I think Herbie has kept my jugs a flowwing. I keep some in the freezer for booboos too. They can go from freezer to microwave in case a sore muscle wants heat too.

(Hopefully some unsolicited internet advice and a chuckle can help too ;)

For the Baby, not for the 'experience'

http://neonataldoc.blogspot.com/2007/01/home-ii.html

A small clip from his post: "I still think that the best solution is for hospital based deliveries to get better, to ditch the impersonal and degrading garbage associated with them."

Today NeoHero may have saved more babies than he realizes. The link above should lead you to his post. My reply is below:

Pro-homebirther here, I fled from the hospital based infirmary system to protect the baby, not for the experience. In all my reading I've only seen pro-hospital folks think we did it for the experience.

After reading Henci Goer, Obstretric Myths vs Research realities, I knew that the interventions cause the majority of the depressed babies. Even the IV was shown to delay labor. It dilutes the hormones in your bloodstream that the baby put there to say, "Now". The intake forms dismiss labor. Literally we get scared and shut down labor. Animals need a safe quiet place to labor, if they are threatened, they can delay labor until safe.

Thanks for acknowledging that hospitals must change if we want fewer dead babies. How 'bout if we start by forbidding the docs to say, "We must break your water or you have to go home"?

Too Much for Mothering

I posted the previous blog entry minus the title and the first paragraph at Mothering.com, with the Title Disappointed to see this moved to Breastfeeding. It was moved from the Lactivism forum to the general breastfeeding area.

My post was yanked and I was told that critisizing the moderators was against the user agreement. I thought disappointment expressed my feelings, not a critique of her skills. The mods must have a hard enough time with so many diverse members (chrunchy?). My disappointment is that people still don't get it, the way doctors are always putting down the boob, and honoring the formula through the formula reps repeated 'free educational' visits.

Any message from a doctor which states that formula has it, but breastmilk doesn't, so you need to do X to make up for not using formula should be countered by lactivism.

Thinking about sending the mod a note, but it would probably just make her bad day worse. I reposted the entry, minus the title line. What do you think? I removed the disappointed part, and just posted the rest. Capitualation?

I can't really think how to phrase a reply to the mod that wouldn't dig a deeper hole. I think I'm growing. Like how yesterday I started with a compliment about how I liked the new paper towel dispensers at work, before I asked to have one adjusted. The new ones you just pull the paper out, no handle to push.

Breastfed Infants Hassled gain - Lactivism vs the Doctors/Formula Reps

Disappointed to see the thread where a doctor suggested iron drops for a breastfed infant moved from the Lactivist forum at www.mothering.com to the Breastfeeding forum.

Peds give the message that "formula has X level of iron, and Breastmilk doesn't. You must give these drops (of basically poison if given in a higher dose) to make your milk as good as formula."

I see this as another message that breastmilk is less than formula. The formula reps have mal-educated the doctors, again. Yes it is true that formula has higher levels of iron than breastmilk. What they leave out is that the iron in breastmilk is much more adsorbable, and doesn't have the harmful side effects of artificially added iron. Also, since breastmilk doesn't irratate the stomach lining and cause that blood loss inot the intestines, a little iron goes a whole lot farther.

http://www.naba-breastfeeding.org/images/Just%20one.pdf

Let's go for a Walk

( posted as a commnet on a friend's blog. hoping to remember to post more about his later.)

What's the name of the diet? Which magazine?

I'll probably be starting Weight Watchers again here at work, but only because it's free, and that way I get on a scale every week. I signed up last time to see if I was losing too fast for no reason. Thinking about going back to Sommersizing again. The good old food combing from the sixties, seems to work for me.

Seems like I've tried everything except Atkins. Sommmersizing is close, but not restrictive on good carbs. The no white stuff rule seems to help me feel good.

Let's go for a walk when you have a minute. I've been pushing Nicky around, can't wait for his little legs to get a little longer. I figure he gets enough miles in my living room.

Can cord clamping increase Bilirubin levels?

( a comment I left at neonataldoc's blog, he was commenting on billilights possibles causing moles. )

Wondering if anyone has a link to support that the premature clamping of the umbillical cord may be the cause of high bilirubin levels.

Many natural birthers believe that you should at least wait for the cord to stop pulsing before clamping it. This allows the blood to go where it needs to. Funny thing is when I asked to delay clapming the cord at an OB practice, all four doctors gave me different answers why they had to clamp right away. Two were in direct conflict. One said the baby will get to much blood, another said that baby will loose blood back into the mom, another said mom would bleed too much, and the other said they needed to get the baby under the warmer right away or the baby would get cold. Funny none of that happened when I had a baby at the midwife's birth center, where they wrapped up the placenta and put baby, husband and I down for a nap, in the same bed, before clamping and cutting the cord hours later.

Sure, if neohero needs to help the baby, waiting for dad to fumble the scissors is silly, but for healthy full term babies I don't see the rush.

Where do we draw the line?

Welcome to Blogspot Fellowman, http:://bulgingbag.blogspot.com

In my mind there is no debate, it should be up to the parents to decide the fate of their baby, everytime.

When interviewing my care provider for my last pregnancy, one of my questions was, 'Will you help protect my baby from aggressive care?'.

I had a feeling with this one, that it wasn't meant to survive. I wanted to protect it from being delayed in becoming an angel, or tortured. Turns out that I chose well. When I called her at 10 weeks (LMP) to see what her protocol was, she said I could go for a D&C but she didn't recomend it. A previous provider had sent me to ER, and that was horrible. So much easier this time, just letting my body handle it. The medical industry messes with birth, why didn't I realize they would mess with miscarriage also.

I'm a natural birth advocate. I firmly believe we are safer birthing at home, with a qualified attendant and a nearby hospital.

Should I have tried to rescue my blighted ovum? Many people would think that by just miscarrying, with only a phone call for care that I didn't do enough. Where do we draw the line?

She seems Definate

Saw the Doctor last night. From what I described she said blighted ovum, no longer pregnant. No tests, just call if I have any extra bleeding. Since I hardly spot the pad after only three days, I think it's over.

I look pale as a ghost. My husband sugested the tanning booth to fix it. I asked him to go make me another chocolate milkshake, and he packed me lunch. I haven't really lost that much blood, I think it's just the hormones making a sudden change. I'm back to work today. I took two days to lay around the house. My timing is terrible. The misscarriage occured the last night of our holiday shutdown. At least this time I was only out for two days. Last time I was out for a week and in misery. It figures, the medical industry would be hurtful and harmful about miscarriage just like birth. Without the trip to ER, and the drugs, this time it was much easier. My body rocks.

Asking about birth control slipped my mind. Do I want another child or is four enough. (counting three I gave birth to, and one step-child.)

Well, if I think about it long enough, Gods will decide for me.

Likely to be over now.

Well, I think I have miscarried. It was easy this time. I wonder if the doctor's drugs made the first one harder. The first time I was given methergine and pain pills. I was in agony for more than a week.

This time, I spotted a little and lost the plug in the morning, and then that evening I emptied my uterus with a spash. Can't see how there could be a baby left in there after that much glop. I see my doctor tonight, and we'll see what she says. When I paged her to see what her protocol was, she said I could go get a D&C but she doesn't recommend it, and to keep my appointment today. That trip to the ER with the first was hell, glad to skip it this time.

It really wasn't a good time to have a baby anyways. My youngest is only two and we are still nursing. I work full time, and they just gutted my benefits. Maybe later, but the idea of hauling another one around seemed daunting.

Going to ask about birth control. I don't think there is any safe answer.

Really glad I didn't spared the news around in real life. Don't feel sad about this, I already have three children and a step child, five may have been to many.

Nine weeks and counting

How long can I maintain the illusion of getting fat? Naked it is really obvious that my belly is getting bigger, but when I'm dressed, I just look like I'm getting fat.

I guess being well endowed with curves has its advantages. I started out this preg around 160. Other have started at 178, 162, and 138, and I ended up just shy of 200 each time.

Since that day I walked into Ma's and she said, "Please tell me you're not pregnant.", about six months ago, I don't think I'll be telling my family anytime soon.

Waiting as long as I can to tell the girls. At 6,8 and 10 they think a week is a long time. I get big quick, so I'm hoping for baggy sweaters for Christmas. Since it's winter, I get a little more bulky clothing advantage.

The cult of Vaccines

Bring it on, go ahead with your no-sense. Why should I torture my healthy child to protect your sickly one. Why is it safe to inject newborns with mercury? Why do we keep having those scarey news articles about polio outbreaks among the unimmunized, which fail to mention that it is the vaccine strain of polio, and the wild one hasn't been seen in the US in decades?

Then let's discuss the skyrocketing rates of cancer and adhd, and diabetes, and autism, which are temporally related to the increase in 'mandatory' vaccines. Temporally related means at the same point in time, and doesn't prove a causal link.

I'm angry. The hoo hoo the people spewed over at neonatal doc upsets me. How can these very intelligent people be so misled? That new Gardisil vaccine is scarey. Just barely approved, and now heavily advertised. I doesn't prevent cancer, it provides some immunity against a virus which may be linked to cervical cancer. People are pushing to make it mandatory, and we don't really have any data to show it it even safe.

Immunizing your child puts mine at risk. My friends keep their children away from the recently immunized ones. Shedding the manmade virii, frankencreated for vaccinations hasn't even been studied. The recent rise in shingles seems to coincide with the varicella vaccine. Why vaccinate against chickenpox? Oh, because the immnocomprised ones soemetimes die from it, rarely a healthy child. Why are there so many immunocompromised ones, vaccinations. Kids need to get sick to train their immune systems.

Please go see www.909shot.com for more details.

Harrassed?

Someone at mothering.com asked us to ask our timid friends if they have been harrassed. She wondered if it happened to timid people too.

Here's what I replied:

Harassed by whom?

I used to be a timid mom, harrasment made me who I am.


The sOB who said breaking my water 2.5 weeks before my due date wouldn't interfer with my natural birth plans. Same sOB (surgical OBstetrician) allowed 30 seconds for me to attemp breastfeeding with no help before declaring time's up and convincing the dad to dump 2.5 ounces of formula into my first.

The peds who answered try supplimenting to any concern.

The peds who never reported adverse vaccine reactions with my first.

The pediatrician who claimed that at a year my baby needed cow milk, that human milk and real food including organic greens wasn't good enough.

The nurses who keep asking what formula, and make faces when I say none. Repeatedly asking how much milk, when I am nursing.

The ex who coerced me into weaning because pregnant, or before an airplane ride.

The employer who took away part of my maternity leave after returning to work, and said you know better now, no midwife.

Dr. Amy Tutuer who runs a 'debate' and bans anyone who supports homebirth.

The boss who looked like a deer in the headlights everytime I mentioned nursing/pumping.

The online mommy groups who think it is out of line to nurse near a pool.

The church who wanted me to dump my milk and replace it with their 'free safer formula' since human milk is a 'biohazard'. (quotes mean false)

The priest who laughed and said, no breastfeeding, even in my car in the parking lot, the women would be cruel to me.

Sorry, I just reread your thread starter. I don't have any friends who are unlikely to complain. I choose carefully.

I am a hunter

Feel free to comment in Etherspace

The Shh it's a secret was for real life. Feel free to chime in here, or elsewhere in etherspace. Even go tell toots that I found a doctor who does home births. I can't tell her, I'm still banned.

I met the Doctor yesterday. Wow, how'd she get that degree, and keep her morals and marbles. I'm thrilled. The booklet they handed me with the paperwork covered most of my concerns on page 8. I cheered when I read that page. She routinely does testing equivelent to my wishes, which means almost none. She assures me I am pregnant, with no testing. She said if I don't like the doppler, the only penalty is that I won't hear the heartbeat until 20 weeks, and it doesn't really matter anyways. She liked my vitamins and supplements, especially the yeast defense (TM).

Wow, contrast that to the other sOBs who diagnosed me with ammenoria (no period) until the blood work ($400 worth) came back to change the result. Wow, a doctor who believe women can give birth if they aren't interfered with 90% of the time, and 5% may need a little help, the other 5% may need more extreme measures. Contrast that with the 30% C rate in the US this year.

So excited to share the healing with you all. For all three previous babies I was in an adversarial position with my care provider. It wasn't until eight months into the third pregnancies when I woke up and went to an unlicensed midwife. I was forced to choose another provider this time by my employer, in order to get my maternity leave.

More soon, I'm hoping to blog lots about how the otherside is so much safer. Go tell toots, she can get stuffed. So looking forward to care without the dead baby drum, and the I know better than you horn. No GBS, no quad screen, no ultrasounds, no doppler, just sound advice about eating, and sharing any concerns. So nice to have someone who has confidence in me, not the machines that go bleep.

Shhh It's a Secret

In the previous post, I forgot to mention. I'm not sharing this possible baby with the world yet. Please don't tell, or talk to me about it. I've miscarried before, and it was hard doing the unannouncing.

Having unreasonable fears about facing another doctor. I've been told she's a midwife in doctor clothing. That's the best compliment I've ever heard. To face medical mistraining in order to be licensed in this draconian state which doesn't offer any way to license a laymidwife. She's also a lactation consultant, so that means she may be more supportive of not weaning Darling Son, just because I'm older and pregg'd. Many sOBs would pressure me to stop immediately, unaware of the stress it would cause me.

I had a dream, where I was waiting in a nice big airy well decorated space to meet my new doctor. My fear of heights overwhelmed me. I could see and hear what was going on with the other patients. I woke up before meeting her, but I don't think I stayed long enough to meet her, because of the way I could see down the stairs and out the window.

In real life, I'm considering whether I should write up a questionaire, a list of preferences, and some of my history in advance. I don't wnat to scare her, but maybe she's already on the same page. It's not like I have much of a choice. I need a doctor to save me from my disability plan overseer, and CPS. I can't go without care, because that is ...

No Name as of yet...

Here we go again. Darling Hubby was thrilled to hear the news.

You'd think with my thourough statistiacal background, and knowledge of the obstetric meat grinder, I wouldn't use the calendar for birth control. But what about God's will? Maybe he feels the I should give birth a fourth time. Maybe he feels I should make another angel. He never gives us more than we can handle. Sure why not have another baby at the age of 41?

Too bad I can't post this to the debacle, and give them the blow by blow of my version of a pregnancy and birth. Toots only allows her side into the debate.

Fortunately, I have found a doctor who does homebirths. Wow, there is a God, and she's looking after me.

Advice for a Mom who was told to wean to treat thrush.

(this is a reply I posted to a thread at mothering.commune for a mom who was told to wean her 1.5 year old baby to treat thrush. There was other standard advice already posted.)


The ex ped told me at eight months to just use formula. I had mentioned that the nystatin was making it hard to pump. (Nystatin is a common, horrible antifungal prescribed for thrush, and is greasy.) I wanted another type of treatment, not just the same old supplement line of crap.

I called back the Lactation Consultant in the practice, and she set me up with a pharmacy which had gentian violet. I stains the baby blue, but is much better than thrush.

And pumping was easy without the greasy parts. I was working full time, and not suplementing, so decreasing my output was a concern.


Years laters, for another baby, I went straight to LLL. That time, it may not have been thrush, they thought it was dermititis, a skin allergy. Keeping the shampoo, and other soaps away from the area, and changing my laundry to soap free made a permanant cure.

Other tips, I love the Yeast Defense pills, hot peppers and probiotics all in one pill. The midwife also recomended breaking a probiotic capsule open, and sprinkling the power on the affected area.

You're not alone in getting horrible advice which ends with wean. I avoid doctors for all but stiches. LLL and kellymom combined with mothering.commune solves 99% of the issues that the peds used to mislead me about. Any doubts and I call my unlicensed midwife for the real answers. What a shame that the most reliable care is not offered a license in Michigan.

Did anyone mention water and rest to boost your body's natural defenses? The no sugar really helps, also flour and refined grains can fuel the yeast. Basically the white foods promote it, and whole foods prevent it.

For lots more about the many things that yeast causes, and doctors treat with surgery, read The Yeast Connection. That book claims that most of our mysterious illnesses which doctors fail to control are actually caused by yeasy overgrowth.

Hope you feel better. Great thinking Mama, come here whenever anyone says wean. The breastfeeding isn't the probelm, its the answer.

Epi vs Hot Tub

(Toots at the debacle is debating the effectiveness of water immersion for pain relief in birth.)


Natural birth meant less pain overall.

The epi for my first birth stopped labor. It tooks hours for me to convince them to turn it off, so I could get going again. 25 hours of hell. I hurt worse than a traffic accident after, and my mothering ability was compromised due to loss of confidence in my natural ability.

For the next two, I went natural. I was up and around right away, empowered to care for my new baby. Overall the pain was much less. The recovery was faster.

The second was in the inhospitalbe, and since I was forced onto my back, I tore.

The third was in the water. Only a tiny tear, which didn't need repair. For the third, I didn't even get any pain meds for recovery. It forced me to rest, as my body required.

Toots, you say water birth is dangerous, and then say we should study its effectiveness. I'm confused.

Birth should empower a mom, not cause trauma due to calloused care.

Sue

(the ban seems to have expired.)

Ranting about Banning

( a reply I posted in my moomy group to questions about why I got banned. )


No explanation, no reply to my email asking for it. I posted my goodbye from another computer, and she deleted the goodbye, and banned that computer too.

Since some of my posts are still there, I put a goodbye on my blog.

You've seen my style, I really try to be respectful here. There I was getting a little more snarky. Her Name is Dr. Amy Tutuer, MD, but I started calling her toots. Toots the I know better than you horn, and bangs the dead baby drum. Just a little humour, no cursing. She maintains, with no evidence to prove it, that homebirth makes more dead babies, but women choose it for 'the experience'. There's even a British Doctor who points to overwhelming evidence in England on the safety of homebirth. They can have a homebirth even on public assistance. 80% of women only see midwives. There is seemless transfer of care with no acrimony like transfers are treated here.

As is typical, she was spouting her personal feelings, and claiming that science, studies and research supported her. We have been having fun poking huge holes in every argument.

Today's complaint is "why do DEMs charge so much" DEM is direct entry midwife, like Brigett who attended the birth of my son Nicholas. She thinks $2500 is too much for the entire cost of prenatal, labor, and post natal services, including testing. In my mind it's not enough to keep them in business. Most DEMs barely scrape by, and some get donations from grateful previous clients.

So tempted to send the hordes of angry internet women from mothering.com after her. They have a forum which supported me through the trials at Northridge when they asked me to refill my bottle with 'free safer formula'.

Does everyone know the differences between DEM, CPM, CNM and sOBs (surgical OBstetricians)? Maybe she was tired of my sOB acronym, but I did spell it out. CNM and OBs view pregnancy as a disease, and rescue the fetus. DEMs and CPMs view birth as normal, and only send you to OBs when things out of the range of normal happen. (beware of Sue's sweeping generalization, there are many good and bad exceptions to my general rule.)

I wouldn't mind so much if she hadn't put it at the top of the page that both sides are welcome. She's banned a few others that I know of. She also made a big deal that she'd stop selectively censoring, and it seems to be happening again. She should have at least left my goodbye up. People will be wondering if I'm okay, I was a regular there, and people were noticing my point of view.

Thanks for listening. Still trying to work through my feelings on this. It makes me angry to see her saying that she won't do any backup care for midwives because they are all unprofessional, and dangerous. That's the trouble with homebirth around here, hostile hospital will start over on arrival, instead of picking up from the midwives direction. many midwives become doulas as they pass through the hospital doors. In Michigan we have no licensing for DEMs, they are not illegal like some states, but their not protected by a license like in others. A woman should be able to choose anything from an elective C to an unassisted homebirth, without worrying about CPS (child protective services) punishing you for child abuse, or a hospital letting the baby die while lecturing you on the evils of birthing, instead of providing the care the midwife decided you needed there.

Oh, and to answer your questions T, I can view the site, but not post. No, she doesn't moderate, only deletes parts that don't support her point of view, after posting. She gave me no warning that I was out of line. I think she was just tired of being called toots, it probably happens to her in real life. (her last name is Tutuer -> toots)

Thanks for listening, I feel better now.

I got banned

After many posts, and much time invested in a debate I was banned
from the homebirth debate http://homebirthdebate.com with no
explanation.

I did not curse or threaten. I did give her a nickname toots like
toots the I know better than you horn. I did mention possibly
deleting some of myposts.

What is the custom for this in etherspace? Should she have sent me
a message that she deleted some comments, and why? Should I get an
explanation for being banned?

The page says it's a forum for debate with both pros and cons
welcome. She has banned at least one other, who left a note on my
blog to say so. She is vitriolic in her hatred of homebirthers and
midwives. I thought we were working through her issues, and she
might recover. It was entertaining to keep putting bits of my story
out there, hoping she could see the other side.

I know its her blog, and she can do whatever she wants, but I'd like
to know what was appropriate. I posted as Sue or Sue - an engineer
mom.

Does anyone want to go there and mention Sue got banned with no
reason? I'm not really looking to attack her by sending hordes of
angry women to her site, I'd just like someone to say goodby for
me. I got to know a few of the regulars, and they might miss me.

Someone else understands

(This is someone else's comment posted to the debacle, posted with her permission.)

From delightfulmomma:

...It's hard to find ideas that are wackier than Dr. Odent's...

Let me think of some:

Women should lie down when giving birth.

Women should have fingers placed in her vagina at regular intervals to "check" her performance.

Women should have needles placed into their spines and anaesthetic injected (that risks death and paralysis).

If labor stops or slows down to give a woman a rest, even if the baby is doing fine, we shall inject a synthetic drug (made from pig product) into the woman to "start her up again".

We shall make a biological physiological process as unatural as possible so that as many as 1:3 or 4 women need major abdominal surgery to relieve them of their offspring.

We shall sever the umbilical cord and its vital component of blood (up to 200mls) as soon as the baby is born.

We shall break the waters of the amniotic sack that protects the baby at all labors to speed labor up despite their still being no reliable scientific evidence that says that this practice does in fact speed things up!

Obstetrics:crazy crazy people doing crazy things every day!
Obstetrics: conning women, performing unecessary surgery and misleading the public every day!
Obstetrics: if you want to make money, not have to be particularily bright in medical terms and only have to perform a couple of easy peasy surgical techniques in your career, this is the medical path for you! Obstetrics: anyone can do it!Join now for your easy course on :
1. How to perform a caesarean.
2.How to sew up a caesarean.
This 2 day course will show you how to do this now with an even easier one layer technique. Medics...Don`t mess with complicated heart surgery or play with intricate opthalmology, take the easy option with far more money to make! Course sponsored by pitocin.

Happy note

(a reply to the mommy group, someone wanted a happy story for the day.)

The weather was icky, so we didn't go to Dairy Dan's for the clown making balloon animals. Instead I convinced them it would be more fun to make a bunch of our own. Waiting in line for one, takes way longer than making a dozen puppies.

So I broke out the pump, and a handful of balloons. Blew a few up and wandered away. Well, she said they were out of ballons, so I went to help. Thinking I'd be blowing up more. Nope, they figured out how to tie them, and needed more empties. Neat, my finger went numb the day before from tying all of them.

They had a blast. Sophia made puppies, and tried to copy the seahorse from the clowns at the Civic Center Library (that was Tuesday). Veronica made a parachute. I made swords. So cute seeing the balloons tied all around her. Sophia liked it and made one too.

I mentioned how nice it was that Sophia liked it so much, she made one too. Happy balloon sounds then were sent to the basement, so I could let Nicky out of his highchair. No ballooons for babies, choking hazard.

They played for another happy hour in the basement with them, while Nicky caused as much mayhem as he could. He can now get loose from the high chair, open the kitchen gate, turn the TV, VCR and Sattelite on and off, and reset the computer. Fun ;)

I didn't get a chance to finish my book. The Wizard of London, Mercedes Lackey. I didn't pick up my crochet either. We're making an afgan of granny squares. I have a little notebook where they design squares, so I can make them later. They choose a pattern in the book, and copy to the notebook, picking from the colors we have. We've got quite a pile of squares in the corner, and keep laying them out, or throwing them like frisbees.

Homebirthers deserve good care at hospitals.

(another reply to the homebirth debacle.)

Dr Amy, still looking for a reply about backup OBs. Do you accpet homebirthers? Will you provide backup care?

It might have been nice to be able to keep my sOB, when I fled to a lay midwife in my eighth month of pregnancy. After taking the hospital tour, I was horrified by the attitudes and facilities.

They only had a level one neonatal intensive care unit, which means not even enough to stabilize. Immediate transport by helicopter to another facility, without mom or dad. Mom wouldn't be released for at least twenty four hours to follow, and dad couldn't fly with the baby.

They made a big deal that you could drink water during labor, if your doc approves.

They did not have a tub, and said the shower would do the same.

By choosing to birth at the midwife's office, in her tub. I was safer. Her office was 7 minutes from deciding to go, to getting a C section at a facility with a level 4 neonatal intensive care unit. They would prep the room, with a phone call from her, and be ready on arrival.

How does your hospital treat a call from a midwife having trouble? Or do they not even call your facility?

Homebirth is much safer with good relations at a hospital. For the 5% who choose to transfer, they should recieve immediate good care, not a stern lecture on the evils of homebirth.

I've read stories where the hospital is so hostile, they don't act on the midwife's concerns, and start over, with intake questions and tests, letting the baby die.

I was a believer

(posted as a reply to neonataldoc HIb)

I was a believer. I updated my shots before trying to concieve.

After a year of her getting very sick after every shot, and seeing two of her immunizations recalled, I woke up and started reading. One of her vaccines was recalled for overdosing newborn babies with mercury. That was the published reason. The other for bowel obstructions.

It was hard to watch my child suffer from the vaccinations. The doctors didn't report even one occurance to the VARS database. The doc made the call that it was unrelated, and didn't follow the rules. Vaccine incidents are 95% underreported.

The screaming, the rainbow poops, and the worry was only there for the 7-10 days after each shot.

How 'bout the way that SIDS peaks in two perfect bell curves centered around two and four months age. Same as immunization time.

The only polio seen in the US for more than a decade, is the vaccine strain, not the wild one. Most polio cases in the US recently were caused by the oral vaccine. The caregivers were catching it from the diapers.

And what about the nasty preservatives.

I will not vaccinate my son. It was hard enough watching my daughter suffer.

And before you get on your high horse, vaccines are contraindicated if siblings had bad reactions. It says so right on the manufacturers pamphlet. So even the medicos would agree not to vaccinate another.

I loved the line in the varicella vaccine pamphlet. "There is no evidence of sutained immunity in the absence of wild booosting." So if we vaccinate the kids, they may get chickepox as adults.

Breast feed or Else. ..... (N)

(reply to a post on my mainstream mommy group. waiting for permission before posting the story I replied to. Started with comments about a New york Times article entitled Breast feed or Else.)


Donning my flame proof undies,

Please understand, we aren't critisizing you. We are critisizing
the poor treatment you recieved. When I read your story, I see
medicos taking your choices away. Phrases like had to, instead of
decided to. Please understand, we are trying to help prevent other
moms from recieving calloused care.

Armed with natural birth ideals, I was lied to by doctors, and
almost had a C with my first, after being told breaking my water to
start labor would not interfer with my natural birth plans. After
arguing for hours for them to turn down the meds, I finally
was 'allowed' to push even though they made it clear they would
rather be doing a C.

A woman should be able to choose anything fromm elective, scheduled
C to unassisted home birth, and be able to go to a hospital a be
treated well no matter her choice.

I just blogged about this today. We don't say your choice is wrong,
we say our choices weren't supported. How many lay midwives turn
into doulas as they pass through hospital doors?

What happens when an unassisted home birther decides to get help,
because she feels she needs it? How 'bout calling CPS? It has
happened.

How do you feel about me nursing my son? In public? At twenty two
months? Not often, but it happens. Did you just judge me, or do
you think I was judging you? No, we hope for support. I try to
view posts in the context of helpful, not hurtful.

Sue


(PS N, can I post your reply below on my blog?, It really
illustrates some of the points we've been discussing elsewhere. I
would remove your identifying bits, since it is a public blog, I
would never post from here to there without permission. )

Safe equals Legal

(another reply to the debacle.)

Amy, "It is illuminating that the truth about homebirth could be seen as a vendetta."

http://www.collegeofmidwives.org/legal_legislative01/synopsis.htm

Yes it is, illuminating, to see midwives prosecuted by doctors. We only needed homebirth advocacy after the medicos started their midwife hunting.

Homebirth should be legallized, and supported. How would you fee if even one midwife hesitated to bring mom in for additional care, because of a hostel hospital staff. How many midiwfes turn into doulas as they pass through the hosptital doors.

I support choice, from elective C to unassisted home birth. It should be legal and supported, so when more care is required, there is no fear of getting it.

Many medicos are jaded against homebirth, because they have only seen the ones desparate enough to wade into the medical territory. With bad relations, sometimes, too late.

What? A 'doctor' said no benefits for Mom in Breastfeeding

(Yet another comment on the homebirth debacle site.)


She tooted, "I strongly recommend breastfeeding to everyone, but that's because of the known benefits for the baby, not because of health benefits for the mother, which appear to restricted to a very small group."

It's lipservice like this that prevents breastfeeding from being seen as beneficial and normal.

The benefits to mom are too numerous to mention, but here's a few.

Oxytocin is released during let down, a feel good hormone.

Formula can cause post partum depression. Mom's body thinks the baby died if it doesn't nurse.

500 or so extra calories a day.

Never needing to take more than a diaper and some wipes when I go out. Imagine, no diaper bag full of crap to haul. I throw a diaper in my purse, and I'm off. I keep wipes in the truck. I bring a bottle of water for me to drink.

I needed to buy nothing for nursing, no hooter hider, no creams, no bottles, no just in case/sabotage formula, no shields.

I chose to buy a boppy, a stool and a pump. But those are optional.

Mom's pocketbook doesn't need to buy formula.

No running out of formula and needing to go buy some. No getting up to get a bottle while baby screams "why is this taking so long, just whip it out." for about five minutes.

Other fun bits, going to nurse ins, and nurse outs can be fun. LLL is entertainment, and much better help than any medico has provided.

A couple ten minute breaks a day to read my book while I was still pumping.

Oh, and did you miss the recent news, Tutuer, breastfeeding cuts your breast cancer risk in half, being breastfed cuts your risk in half again. You were right on one point, breastfeeding the American way for a couple of weeks doesn't help much. I seem to remember at least two years was needed over the lifetime. I'm in my sixth year of nursing, non-consequetive. Two children are formula free, the other has tummy trouble, allergies, and excema.

At least admit it to yourself Tutuer, you are actively sabotaging those poor women. We must present nursing as normal. New moms don't have time for extras. It's foolish to think formula is easier, or frees up mom. You will spent time with a fussy baby, which could have been pleasantly nursing with your feet up.

Safer birthing in the middle of a freeway.

(This was someone else's reply to my comment (previous post in myblog) posted to the homebirth debacle site. I asked permission to post it here, because I am so pleased that someone got it.)


From anon:

Gosh Sue, lucky you were in hospital eh?

Dr Amy should spend less time spouting her antipathy and more time listening to stories like yours.Maybe if the docs got it right, women would not be wanting to birth at home. Faced with a doctor who says homebirths are dangerous and hopsital safer after an experience such as yours, I wouldnt be suprised if you decided that birthing in the middle of a freeway was more preferable.

V's birth story

( posted as a reply on the homebirth debacle site - my point is that measuring natural birth outcomes can't happen in a hospital, they aren't set up for a natural birth, only medical.)

Whoops, I put the wrong name on the principle. Must not have been Heisenburg. I am sure my instrumentation (how meters work) class hammered it. You cannot measure without disturbing. Can anyone remember the name?

I'd like to hear more about sailing, that was very refreshing.

I still maintain there is no evidence that homebirths are significantly more dangerous. All data presented so far was either flawed or indeterminate. Where indeterminate was translated to unsafe.

The Quantum Physics bit can be greatly applied to homebirth. If I feel I have the power within me to birth, I am likely to do so. If I am looking to the allmighty medico to rescue my baby from my uterus, I am likely to receive. (For reference watch the recent Movie, What the bleep do I know)

For my first I fell for the "break your water or go home" ultimatum. He said it would not not effect my natural birth plans, and induced labor that way. I did managed to birth vaginally, but much trauma, including a 300 pound nurse pushing on my belly, even as I told her to stop.

For my second, I was given the same ultimatum. After being told I was at 6cm, they said, not fast enough, break your water or go home. I chose to leave, and Viola, suddenly I was declared 4cm. I transitioned at home after a pizza and a good night's rest. I would have pushed that baby out unattended, if the Ex hadn't piled me into the car. 15 minutes from front door to baby, and I had to fight every minute.

My natural Birth in the hospital.

Walk in front door, in bathrobe, sweating, pushy. They tried to put me in a wheelchair, I refused saying that the baby's head was to far down to sit, and insisted on walking.

After pushing elevator button, nurse wants to do a vaginal exam in the elavator. I refused.

The nurse would not break down the bed, and refused to allow me into a position to push, until a doctor arrived from ER. (I had called maternity, and said I was on the way. I made it clear I was pushy.)

ER doc arrives, and orders Lactated wringers. I yell, I'm not a traffic accident, and argue, until they are distracted. The bleeping fetal monitor has moved, the rates are now the same, mine and the baby's. They yell the baby's heartrate dropped and force oxygen onto me. I resist and tell them I am hyperventilating, and that the heart rates are the same.

I push the oxygen aside, and yell its burning. The assistant doula says, from her corner behind the equipment, "that is good, it should you're almost there." I accepted her advice to push through it, it was a good thing, a sign we were progressing. And out came V, she literally pushed off my rib cage and came out with a splash. Suprised ER doc catches, barely, and I start telling him not to clamp the cord. Fortunately he listened to me, for a little while. The sOb I had, made it clear he would be clamping right away. At least the ER doc did wait a little.

After clamp and cut, the doc starting pulling on my cord. I repeatedly told him to stop, it may cause hemmorage. When I pushed out the placenta, he wasn't paying close atttention, to me or the bowl of fluid full on the floor. Yep, I hit a bowl full of fluids and it splashed all over the doc, and covered under the bed too. (by accident.) Quite a mess.

Minutes later I was out of bed, and the nurse was requesting a bath so she could handle the baby without gloves. I said I preffered that she wear gloves.

My mom washed up the baby while I had a quick shower. (My Mom, and doula were stuck in the hall for the birth. They were denied entrance, even though permitted on my birthplan.)

Right after my support staff left, so I could rest. Another nurse came in and said they needed the room, I needed to pack and move down the hall. I refused to pack, and pleaded for her to do it, pointing out that if she had asked minutes sooner, my support staff would have been happy to help me.

She said they were full, and since I was now considered super healthy low risk, they were putting me in the private super clean room since I wouldn't contaminate it like (techno) deliveries might. She may have said something like more difficult instead of techno. The room was usually keep empty for those with compromised immune systems who needed an almost germ free isolation.

I wanted to go home right away, but no one would take me home until I ws released. 22 hours later I left, with a huge rash covering my buttocks and thighs caused by an allergic reaction to their sheets.

How's that for an unintendeded complication. It was real fun trying to heal that rash while nursing a newborn.

Glove safety

( reply to Tuteur's Debacle - concerning the drop in maternal mortallity. )

The drop in maternal mortallity is usually atributed to the doctors finally getting a clue and washing their hands before inserting them into the women. Midwives had been doing that all along, or better yet not inserting/disturbing.

Cervical checks only on maternal request. Could you handle it? There is no reason to be nucking about in there. Birthing from Within, we all have the power, not the (allmighty) doctors.

I can remember forcing the quack to change his gloves before insertion. He argued and said he just put new gloves on. I pointed out he had handled the pen, and the fetal monitor since putting on the gloves. The gloves were apparently there for his safety, not mine.

The Formula Conspiracy

(this is a comment I left at neonataldoc.blogspot.com in reply to his question why a medicaid HMO repeatedly lies and says that hospital grade breastpumps aren't covered.)



Thanks, NeoHero for covering a topic close to my heart. I was a lactivist, before it had that name.

Have you thought about the formula industry doing some active sabotage in this case? I always try to see where a formula rep may have been there first.

A formula rep visited my ex-chucrh and gave them 'free safer formula' to provide to mothers who brought breastmilk to the church nursery. I was asked to dump my "bottle of hazardous bodily fluid and refill it with free safer formula". Very effective, a shamed based message followed by free poison, from a source of spiritual guidance.

Since formula is made by Ross, I might guess that they strong armed somewhere. Look for the conspiracy.

Or it could be as simple as those reps think formula is good enough, and breastfeeding is an extra that medcaid recipients do not deserve. Most people view BFing as an extra, not a normal.

Breast is Normal. If you know of any Nurse Ins or Nurse Out I can post them to my yahoo group, nurseoutmichigan. I've helped promote a couple local nurse ins already. Did you see me on the six o'clock news for the Victoria Secret Nationwide Nurse In.

How 'bout those weight charts? In 1998 I had to fight to not supplement. The fleas were concerned because she was at 20% and settling gently. They didn't even believe me when I said their charts were for formula fed babies, and someone has to be at 20% anyways. There were formula ads on the chart itself.

Just picked a new flea, in 2005 a Doctor had to confirm online that I had a real CDC weight chart for breastfed babies, and didn't just make it up. He was about to give me a feed him more lecture, but on my chart, my baby was at 50%.

Oh, and I just love the recent ER visit where the doctor stitching my son was concerned he might not be getting enough calcium because he was still breastfeeding at 18 months. I told her my (new)pediatrician was not concerned.

I have been barraged with wean him, and what they really mean is cow milk in a bottle. My baby weaned himself from the bottle at 11 months, but continues to nurse. He eats real food, and drinks water anytime he likes, we keep it available.

I know, long comment, back to your topic. I showed a few examples of why breast is considered extra, and not needed, to illustrate how the denial of decent pumps is part of the bigger formula conspiracy.

Boycott Nestle, they are killing babies in third world contries by giving free formula in the hospital, so moms don't start nursing. Then after the two huge free cans run out, moms can't afford enough powder, and the water isn't safe. Babies die of disintery.

A doctor actually said pitocin is an exact copy of oxytocin.

(This is a reply I posted to the Homebirth debacle board.)

Amy spouted, "Third, synthetic oxytocin (pitocin) is an exact copy of natural oxytocin."

Do you actually believe this? I guess that explains why quacks feel justified hitting most moms with the pitocin stick. The last maternity triage area I was in, gave every mom pitocin, even the ones who just came in and were laboring normally.

Pitocin increases pain in labor. Oxytocin is regulated my mom/baby. How can you keep mucking about with things we don't really understand?

Yes, I do believe that interfering with a natural labor lowers the mothers quality of life. Post Traumatic Stress disorder induced by callousness. The baby mill can beat the life out of you.

The baby friendly hospital guidelines state that immediate bonding is very important. Are you saying it isn't?

You keep going from relative values to absolutes, taking offense where none was intended. Dr. Odent stated that things were dimished, not gone. Your jumps to offensive conclusions reveal a deep seated issue. Please go get help. I'll pray for you.

Not feeling superior, feeling protective. Now that I have done it both ways, I would like to spare others the pain of hospital birth.

Formula feeding moms have similar issues. Just because I want to be able to do it my way, doesn't mean that you have to be the same. Protecting my rights doesn't invalidate your choices. Taking offense because he states facts trying to protect women, is like bottle moms gettting mad at me when I'm upset because someone told me I should refill my bottle of expressed breast milk with free safer formula, so I wouldn't endanger other babies in their care.

Homebirth Debate?

Hi All you wonderful followers from the home birth debate site. Or is it neonatal doc? I seem to be getting some traffic here and will try to post more often. Thanks.

Has Dr Amy been here yet? My life is enough to make her blood boil. I believed in the medical mill before my first baby. I even updated my immunizations before trying to concieve. Now I will not immunize, and feel safer birthing alone, than with a herd of medicos shouting at me.

I blows my mind how some people feel that because a certain choice is better for them, it should be good for me too. From unassisted home birth to elective C section, it should be the woman's choice. Who are we to say what she should do? Why does Dr. Amy spend so much energy with her bombasts. I can't really call it a debate, she just misdirects, she hasn't done one valid refution yet.

British Doc has been a shining beacon of light from England. He said that there, the lower income moms are more likely to birth at home. It's not just for the well educated white women. He shows how normal and accepted homebirth is there. Homebirth paid for by public assistance? Did I really hear him say that? Sounds too good to be true.

Thanks to all my new visitors. Seems like my comments aren't just sent off into etherspace never to be seen again. I may not be able to help Dr. Amy, but at least now I don't feel so alone.

Take back your rights. Our medical choices are being governed by others' religious beliefs.

Judge Empath

You scored as Judge. You are a Judge Empath, one who is a "truthsayer". You can tell truth from lies, good from evil. You do not tolerate wrong doing. You are a defender of the good and the innocent. You are kind and merciful but do not play foolish games. (from "The Book of Storms" by Jad Alexander) Judge 90% Shaman 90% Universal 90% Healer 80% Fallen Angel 75% Precog 65% Artist 55% Traveler 45% What Kind of Empath Are You? created with QuizFarm.com

Someone in my mommy group seems to be headed for induction.

[I actually posted this to a mainstream mommy group. Feeling bold today, but I can't bear to see it happen again.]


(Warning, I can't keep quiet about this. This post mentions some scary things, and is highly opinionated.)




How 'bout informed consent? Has anyone mentioned that due dates, fundal heights, and baby weight estimates by U/S can easily be off as much as 20%. Have they mentioned the risks for induction? I read a lot of pregnant infertile blogs. They keep inducing these poor women who tried so hard to conceive, and then putting the premature baby into intensive care.

I birthed three babies, 7.5, 8.5, and 9.5 pounds. The 9.5 pounder was the easiest by far. I could hardly walk, and hurt worse than a traffic accident for the 7.5 pounder. For the 9.5 pounder I was up and around within minutes. Why? Because I waited for the 9.5 pounder to choose his exit time, and the 7.5 pounder was induced, early. The 7.5 pounder was in the hosptial, on my back. The 9.5 pounder was birthed underwater without a hospital, or doctors, at a time of his choosing.

The induction rate around here is like 95% for hospital births. Pitocin is standard around here, and AROM (artificial rupture of membranes - break your water). You can refuse any treatment. Please don't let them bully you with their policies. Inducing five weeks early can carry lots of risk.

I'm sure the medicos feel they are doing the best thing for you. I just don't feel they have told you the whole truth. Please don't let a doctors fear of large babies lead you to a C section. I read about 11 to 13 pounders who are birthed unassisted. (To me unassisted means at home, alone with no midwife.)

My message here is to trust your body. Where you here to see Kelli's story as it unfolded? After she went in for induction, we held our breath for 6 days before she got online and said she and baby Caanan were okay.

Wait, we're not ready for you to push yet...

For my second, I walked in ready to push, and had been doing little pushses in the car on the way. I told that bleeping nurse she could catch it, but she wouldn't break down the bed until the ER doctor ran up. I should have stood up, and let her catch it on the floor.

How to have a natural birth in a hospital, 15 minutes from front door to baby born. I argued with them every moment. Let my doula and mom in the room, sorry no room. Get that oxygen off me, baby's heartrate dropped, yeh, to exactly my heart rate, I told them I was hyperventilating to get that mask off me. He ordered lactated wringers, and I said it's a baby not a traffic accident. I didn't even let them get a bleeping IV into me.

The night before they gave me that same crappy ultimatum I fell for with my first: let us break your water or you have to leave. This time I said, I'm leaving, and suddenly I was back to 4 cm, when previously they had said 6cm. I went home and ordered a pizza. I would have had the baby at home unassisted, I hated the hospital so much. The ex practically dragged me to the car.

I need a shill, any volunteers?

I need a shill, any volunteers?

When my third was nine months old, the church nursery suggested I
bring a bottle for the next visit. When I brought one of my
precious last bottles of Expressed Breastmilk to the next visit the
nursery worker asked what was in it. I proudly replied, and was
shocked.

She wrinkled her nose, and told me that it was a hazardous bodily
fluid and offered me free safer formula to refil it. I fled in
tears clinging to my baby. In the main lobby crying on the phone to
my hubby, people were concerned until they found out why.

I wrote a letter, I talked to the director, others at mothering.com
were more angry. The church maintains that I shouldn't expect
volunteers to take extra risk by handling my fluids. Yes, they
change diapers every service, but only females are allowed to diaper.

Now, ten months later, I still haven't attended another service. I
just wrote a little note to a pastor, saying that I haven't been
back, and it has shaken my faith. He sent back a corperate looking
form letter reffering me back to the director who doesn't feel that
a shame based message from your church followed by free formula is a
problem.

This bugs me. The website is even more pro formula now.

I want to know that the offers for free formula just for the
excusively breastfed infants have stopped. I want to know that a
new mom won't be shamed.

My baby is too big to take to the nursery. It's a wonderful place
other than that 'science' that formula rep must have sold them.
Does anyone here attend? Would anyone be willing to go and see what
happens if you bring a bottle of the best milk for humans?


I would like to be sure it is still a problem before starting in on
them again. Oh, and yes, they have a nursing closet, and pagers,
and encourage you to direct feed anywhere you like. Separate, but
not equal. Once again I've been told to do it like bottle moms.

Gary

My Father In Law died, and I've just stayed with hubby for comfort. Gary was a Korean war veteran, and he passed on Memorial Day with his son holding his head, and surrounded by family.

He went in for a routine chest Xray, in Jan 2006, and the diagnosis killed him quickly. After hearing the news that the cancer was in his liver, lungs and kidneys he only hung on a short while. His daughters were not ready to let him leave.

I feel callous and selfish.

His death was a victory. He got to die at home. Those that know me, know that I feel strongly that birth and death should be peaceful, and at home. I feared that they would continue to torture him with medical treatments, fortunatley they allowed him to die.

My employer gave me three days off, and it's been like a honeymoon with my hubby. We've only been married a couple of years, and I haven't really heard much about his dad. He talked so much he lost his voice. I mostly just said I don't have any words, and let him go on. We've come through this a whole lot stronger as a couple.

Wierd though, not having any control. Death on Monday, Funeral on Sunday? With no visitation? When the Hub came home Monday, I thought we'd be spending the week out with his famliy, not hiding at home watching old black and white movies. ( The Scapegoat, The Perfect Gentleman, it was a Frank Morgan sort of day (he was the wizard of oz))

I hate cut flowers. Once again, I am told that someone died, and we're all going in together on flowers. So I just pay, seems like less of an honor that being able to just cut something nice from my yard. I know Pop would like something handpicked better, he had quite a garden. Funeral flowers seem like such a scam. They don't last, and Pop doesn't need them now.

This is the second time I have lost a father in law. When the X's dad died, he spent days raging. Mad at God for taking his dad, who he had spent more than a decade not talking too. Sure that he was just gone, not gone somewhere. My current spouse is so different. He spent days talking about his dad, and grateful that he was there to hold him as he passed. Gratitude vs Anger, gratitude seems much easier.

Implementing...

the ideas to help prevent nature deficit disorder, were to get out into nature.


Joined Greenfield Village for another yearly membership, with the ride passes. The kids love wandering around another time.

Had the girls jelp in the garden. Digging in the dirt, messy, but good for them. They like picking out weeds, and planting. Our peas, onions, and radishes are up. We got more seeds (free) at the village.

The Last Child in the Woods - First Book in Online Bookclub

Okay here is the page, just leave comments, whatever you like.

Here's Hathor's link to the book

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1565123913/hathorthecowg-20/103-2108341-4820642?creative=327641&camp=14573&adid=1SJXDRPM8R3RGAE6VGDV


I've ordered mine already. It is also in paperback.

Sue's Online Book Club

This is the place. Let's give it a whirl in eitherspace.

Format - Pick a book, Read it, go to page here about that book, and post comments. That way we can read and post, and reply like a forum, but with no costs.


Let's start now. Please post a few of the books you would like to hear discussed.

A Stranger in A Strange Land - Robert Heinlein

The Cat Who could read Backwards - Lillian Jackson Bruan

Harry Potter

And my hope for first pick

Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer


Okeedokey - let's post a few choices here, and then we'll pick one with a poll. My goal is to pick one by the weekend.

Sue

My answer

God loves us all, always. God provides learning opportunities as
needed for our growth. We may not always understand the nature of
these learning opportunities, and sometimes see them as pain, and
wonder why God would let such things happen.

Thanks Will

Wow, been a long time since I discovered blogs. I want to thank Wil Wheaton for being the first blog I glommed onto.

www.wilwheaton.net

http://wilwheaton.typepad.com/wwdnbackup/2006/03/on_the_rise_of_.html

Today from Wil it was trolls who go to big blogs to try to get more traffic. Worth a try.

re: online pregnancy results - Who's the daddy?

Congratulations, Susan! You're "with child". Our remote testing
system has detected that you're pregnant. The Miracle Of Life has
begun! To see whether your baby is a boy or a girl, click the "View
My Baby" button below.

It's A Boy!

Susan, you're going to be the proud parent of a baby boy, and just
look- isn't he just so damn cute! Based on our remote test results,
your beautiful baby boy will weigh about 16 lbs, 14 oz and have
blonde hair and green eyes. Truly a Wonder To Behold!

Would you like to know who the lucky father is? Our Genetic
Validator module has processed that data and determined who the
father must be. Click the "Who's The Daddy?" button to find out.





Dick Cheney

This must have occurred while you were in a coma or otherwise
unconscious, like at a frat party. We can't think of any other
likely way.



Sue

(I'm a day late, and just had an Xray of the pelvic region 3 days
after predicted ovulation. Vinny said can't be, we haven't done it
this month. Can't wait 'till he finds out I must have been on the
hunting trip with the VP)

Lent

I gave up lent years ago. If it's something I decide I shouldn't do, I try to change the behaviour right away.

I gave up religion recently. Churches have made it clear that they prefer formula, and I no longer feel welcome.

Now I have fallen in with the Quantum Physics group. Is that a religion? What the Bleep Do I Know - a recently released to DVD movie - has really helped replace the guilt and shame which passed for the religions I participated in, with a belief that prayers and thoughts really do shape my world, directly.

People have told me that I will go to h... because although I believe in Jesus, I don't feel that people who choose other names for their god(s) automatically go to h...

How many bad things have been done in the name of Christianity?

What is the most challenging area of parenting for you?

Which challenge? Working while hubby stays home. Extended
breastfeeding in the face of relatives? A hubby who acts like a
child? an Ex who is spiteful, controlling, and not AP at all.

Or is it the constant fight against the medical sickness industry?

Okay, I'll pick that one.

As a mom, I am caregiver. I decide any treatments for my children.
Many doctors feel that they have a standard of care, and as a good
mom I should sheepishly follow their directions.

The ped I just fired advised against any co-sleeping, even naps. He
told me that I should limit nursing my newborn to 10 minutes a side
or I would have cracked bleeding n... Later, he was concerned that
my baby doesn't drink cow milk, and said calcium. I advised him
that cows are vegetarians, and the organic produce Nick eats (even
green leafy) will do better providing enough. He eats cheese and
incidental dairy, but this quack was making it like I should put cow
milk in a bottle for my 14 months old boy. Same kid, different
times.

He went on to lecture me about he's seen cases of polio. I called
him on it, and said "not in this country", and he admitted it was in
India, and all polio in the US for the last decade was the vaccine
strain.

That was for the third kid, once I knew better.

My first child was compromised by the vaccines, and a techno birth.
How can her first immunization have been recalled for overdosing
babies on mercury in the hospital?

Every time I went to her ped, formula supplementation was
pressured. There were no breastfed baby weight charts then, and it
was a constant fight to prove that she was getting enough.

I am amazed at how much the medical industry has violated my trust.
As a parent, my most difficult issue is protecting my children from
modern medicine.

I'm still out three weeks salary because I chose a lay midwife for
an out of hospital birth, and the disabilty company said it was okay
until I returned to work, then they asked me to go find a doctor to
sign.