still hoping, about so many things.

My life is in such turmoil right now, how can I even hope? Having trouble making ends meet. Hubbby has been back on Dairy. Milk it makes his body psycho.

Last night I dreamed that I gave birth. The hubby didn't call the midwife in time. Healthy baby, but a lecture for not calling. Yes, oh course, I birthed at home.

Wondering how to come up with $3000 for a homebirth. Thinking about just going to the hospital last minute like with Veronica. How cheap is that. Risking my baby by going to the hosptial. I love my new doc. She doesn't have hospital priveldges, she attends births at home.

So many things happening today. My parents went down home for a funeral. My girlfriend's hubby is in ICU for a fall from a roof. Measles are spreading in A^2.

I lurve my new mommy group. A place where extended breastfeeding and caring for your child is normal. Gentle parents who have a terrific amount of knowledge on how to care for your child, without smacking or shots.

So nice to be able to look into their lives. Hoping to spent more time with them. They are like parenting superheroes. Arnica, slings and homebirth, oh my. I think I've finally found normal.

Please send prayers for Joe.

Still Dreaming

Well, day 0 has arrived again. The good news is that now Hubby has started to dream too. Also when I checked the Chinese birth calendar Aug conception for birthing at 41 years is a girl, but at 42 years it's a boy. Yep, I get two tries in august. The first and the 29th. Headed to update the due date next. April 23 plus one cycle equals May 21, so that would be a Taurus or a Gemini.

Dreaming is fun. Especially with no pressure. Already having three kids I'm not positive the goddess wants to send me more. Nice leaving it up to her.

note about the Chinese birth calendar: It's based on the month of conception and the age of Mom at birth.